To give a little background of what I'm fixing to say, my little brother "john" contracted meningitis when he was 16 months old. The doctors had said he had the cold and sent him home regardless of what my mother was trying to tell them. Within 24 hours he was in the hospital and pronounced brain-dead.
To make a long story short... I was really regretful that I didn't get to know him like my other siblings due to the fact that I haven't spoken to my family in 2 years, which at the time before he passed, I only seen john a few times, and baby sit him. So I was deeply grieved, and felt guilty that I wasn't their for him. I shouldn't have let my bad communication with my mother affect my relationships with my siblings. All 9 of them.
Since the time he got taken off life support, I was very depressed, and asked God how he's doing, and I said I just want to talk to him, and let him know how I feel, and etc.
Well one day, about a week after his funeral, I got home from dropping my daughter off at school, and my son made a big mess of the refrigerator (3 y/o) and I was very irritated with him, so I sent him to his room. I went to my room afterwards and laid down, I don't remember going to sleep, I was laying their, then all of a sudden I felt a heavy pressure on my chest, then it was like I was watching a film clip of my brother playing with his cars and he was looking at me and grinning, he was in his diaper, just doing baby stuff but it seemed as though he was looking at me.
I started crying telling him that I was sorry I wasn't there, and that I loved him, and asked him to forgive me, then I felt as though he told me he loved me and not to cry anymore. Then it was over like that.
I felt God really has answered my pleas, and let me make my peace with him. My brother. Ever since then my guilt has been gone, but I told my mother about this, and she asked what he was wearing, and I told her the cars he had, she said those were his favorite cars. The clothes he had on, were the clothes he used to wear.
Thanks for reading. I tried to make this short.
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