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My Admirer Came Back


I have submitted a story to this site regarding My Admirer, a ghost or whatever he is that I had an experience with. I have always felt him near me but he has not made contact since our time together years ago until February 25th of this year. My aunt, who myself and my son were living with due to her being ill, had passed on February 24th and I was devastated more so then I ever thought I could be.

I had been up all night trying to get things in order and waiting for my mother's plane to arrive when at around 3am I felt dizzy and must have fainted. When I came to I was on the sofa and he was there kneeling next to me with one hand on my forehead and the other holding both of my hands. He whispered something like "are you ok or alright" I can't really remember the words clear. I was watching his face because the look on his face was almost heartbroken. Then, like a dummy, I pulled my hand out from under his and reached up to touch his face and he backed away real quick like I was going to hurt him or something. By now we were both on our feet although I felt like I was going to puke but I said "please don't leave me again" and to my surprise he took a step toward me, reached out and helped me sit back down. He sat next to me (me still on the verge of puking), he wrapped his arms around me, and I laid my head on his shoulder.

The next thing I remember is waking up to someone knocking on the door. I was lying (alone) on the sofa and heard my mother's voice saying my name outside the door. Four days later, after the funeral, family, lawyers, and everything else was done I was determined to make him come back to me so I drug a lawn into the trees next to my aunt's house and said out loud like a fool "I'm not moving until I see you again" and unfolded the chair and sat.

I had only had my eyes closed for a few seconds when I felt a pressure on my face. I opened my eyes and there he was, smiling down at me. I smiled back and before I could cover my mouth the words were spewing out like the exorcist. I said "I love you and have for all these years", "why have you left me alone all this time", etc... I'm not sure how long I talked before I noticed that he was just smiling and waiting. When I finally shut up he said that he has always loved me and that he has always been here with me and that he can't be a regular part of my life the way he wants because it wasn't allowed. When I asked what he meant he just said it wasn't allowed.

He sat with me until the sun went down, kissed me, whispered I love you in my ear and said that he would see me again soon. I told him that I loved him and said "but when will I see YOU again", he smiled and touched me face then was gone.

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Comments about this paranormal experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, linamoo79, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments but I won't participate in the discussion.

zzsgranny (18 stories) (3327 posts) mod
2 years ago (2020-07-08)
Lealeigh, yea, I kind of just haunt the site. I've been negligent in my Mod duties though! I really need to get caught up. Thank you!
Lealeigh (5 stories) (512 posts)
2 years ago (2020-07-08)

Hello! Wow! I haven't seen you on here in ages. It's nice to see you pop up in the comments.

- Maria
zzsgranny (18 stories) (3327 posts) mod
2 years ago (2020-07-08)
FART-EXTERMINATOR: I have no idea why the comment in question was allowed but I will say that none of the existing Mods were even members of this site at the time this story was published. I think I speak for all of us when I say we've done an excellent job of enforcing (though that seems like an awfully strong word) the comments guidelines in our years of moderating.

There's no way we're going to go back to the years prior to our collective tenure and moderate all of the thousands of comments. I'm sure that's not what you expect, anyway 😆
lady-glow (13 stories) (2910 posts)
2 years ago (2020-07-07)

From the "comments guidelines" of the site:

"This site offers discussions on the topic of ghost experiences, with people coming from various cultures, so please avoid proselytizing or preaching, unless the author of a story specifically asks to receive feedback from that religious perspective...It's fine to share what your religion has to offer as a possible explanation, but everyone has their own, they certainly don't come here to be converted, so please, don't push it on others as irrefutable fact."

What you say is already there... One would expect and hope for a everyone to consult the guidelines before posting any religious advice though, on the other hand, the problem is not (any specific) religion, but the way some people practice their religious beliefs.

Just my opinion.
2 years ago (2020-07-07)
While I don't have an opinion or any contribution to make regarding the above real-life experience, nevertheless I have an opinion I would like to express about a topic relevant to YGS: I have an objection to those members who in their comments bring up the topic of Christianity as a solution. Anyone who believes THEIR religion has a monopoly on the truth about god are ARROGANT DELUSIONAL NARCISSISTS. From my personal experiences atheists know more about god than anyone who believes in the bible. Out of respect for those who don't share your belief in the bible, and most people here do not, it would be polite to mention god in general terms, abstaining from mentioning Jesus, Mohammed, or any specific deity for the sake of being neutral and considerate of those who don't share your beliefs.
princessLotus (2 stories) (555 posts)
12 years ago (2010-01-27)
you must feel so lonely. I can imagine you would be. & you have been for a while. I do think you should see a doctor. Please take care of your self first, before anything else. If it makes you sick honey, that's not good. I will pray for you & your loneliness.

scrapmetalkitten (306 posts)
12 years ago (2009-12-26)
Hmm I don't know what to think about this story. It is very different. I know that your friend or someone claiming to be your friend also posted their own story about this user name "myfriendsfriend". I don't understand the nauseous feeling that you get. Could it be a real person stalking you or drugging you in some sort of way, hence the nauseous/blacking out thing? Have you had spirit encounters before? Generally they are not that physical, and blacking out/feeling nauseous is not the norm at all! I would also get checked by a doctor to make sure the nausea and blacking out isn't attributed to something more serious. I do feel that you need to take care of yourself first before chasing some "ghost" around, and also if it is a real person or even a spirit what guarantee do you have this will be a safe thing around your child? Get a boyfriend to help take away feelings of loneliness and sorrow and focus on the living. I do not mean to sound rude or condescending but I do worry about you if this is actually happening. Please keep yourself and family safe.

-Sydney ❤ 😊 ❤
brenttan (64 posts)
13 years ago (2009-10-26)
No 'guardian angel' needs to draw from your energy to manifest, or give you nausea or a blackout. Beware of deceiving, manipulative spirits. Cut off your contact with the help of Christ and church intercession before it is too late, and you get into a bondage of your soul that you can no longer break! I am sorry to tell you what is not the encouraging comments for you to hear - wishful thinking about even a living lover may not be the person's real nature and you will be used...
MediumColette (2 stories) (4 posts)
13 years ago (2009-07-19)
I do not think that is too dangerous. I think it is a love from the past. (past life.) That found you and needed you. Just like you need him. I get the whole thing.
sher2164 (3 stories) (31 posts)
13 years ago (2009-07-19)
I agree with girlee. Thanks for sharing your story. He doesn't seem to want to scare you. He seems to only want to console you even though he draws your energy. I think he knows this, that is probably why he doesn't appear often, because he knows he will draw off your energy and make you nauseous and blackout. I guess in a way he's like your guardian angel. No that you will always have someone watching you from afar. I think your story is sweet. Thanks for sharing.
LRAWR (8 posts)
13 years ago (2009-07-07)
thats beautiful.

Haha I wish I had a spirit boyfriend *chuckles* well to bad.

❤ ❤ ❤
Kirsten_pax09 (10 stories) (72 posts)
13 years ago (2009-06-15)
I'll give you a good reason why he says it's forbidden:

(It is written about in Genesis 6; and talked about in great depth in "The Book of Enoch" Since your friend is an Angel or one ready to take the great plunge... He wouldn't mind you reading this;)

Chapter 6
1 And it came to pass when the children of men had multiplied that in those days were
Born unto them beautiful and comely daughters.
2 And the angels, the children of the heaven, saw and lusted after them, and said to one another: 'Come, let us choose us wives from among the children of men
3 and beget us children.' And Semjaza, who was their leader, said unto them: 'I fear
Ye will not
4 indeed agree to do this deed, and I alone shall have to pay the penalty of a great
Sin.' And they all answered him and said: 'Let us all swear an oath, and all bind
Ourselves by mutual imprecations
5 not to abandon this plan but to do this thing.' Then sware they all together and
Bound themselves
6 by mutual imprecations upon it. And they were in all two hundred; who descended in
The days of Jared on the summit of Mount Hermon, and they called it Mount Hermon,
Because they had sworn
7 and bound themselves by mutual imprecations upon it. And these are the names of
Their leaders: Samlazaz, their leader, Araklba, Rameel, Kokablel, Tamlel, Ramlel,
Danel, Ezeqeel, Baraqijal,
8 Asael, Armaros, Batarel, Ananel, Zaq1el, Samsapeel, Satarel, Turel, Jomjael,
Sariel. These are their chiefs of tens.

Chapter 7
1 And all the others together with them took unto themselves wives, and each chose
For himself one, and they began to go in unto them and to defile themselves with
Them, and they taught them charms
2and enchantments, and the cutting of roots, and made them acquainted with plants.
And they
3 became pregnant, and they bare great giants, whose height was three thousand
Ells: Who consumed
4 all the acquisitions of men. And when men could no longer sustain them, the giants
Turned against
5 them and devoured mankind. And they began to sin against birds, and beasts, and
Reptiles, and
6 fish, and to devour one another's flesh, and drink the blood. Then the earth laid
Accusation against the lawless ones.

Chapter 8: part of 3 "...And as men perished, they cried, and their cry went up to heaven..."

Chapter 9
1 And then Michael, Uriel, Raphael, and Gabriel looked down from heaven and saw
Much blood being
2 shed upon the earth, and all lawlessness being wrought upon the earth. And they
Said one to another: 'The earth made without inhabitant cries the voice of their
Cryingst up to the gates of heaven.
3 And now to you, the holy ones of heaven, the souls of men make their suit, saying,
"Bring our cause
4 before the Most High."' And they said to the Lord of the ages: 'Lord of lords, God of
Gods, King of kings, and God of the ages, the throne of Thy glory (standeth) unto all
The generations of the
5 ages, and Thy name holy and glorious and blessed unto all the ages! Thou hast
Made all things, and power over all things hast Thou: and all things are naked and
Open in Thy sight, and Thou seest all
6 things, and nothing can hide itself from Thee. Thou seest what Azazel hath done,
Who hath taught all unrighteousness on earth and revealed the eternal secrets which
Were (preserved) in heaven, which
7 men were striving to learn: And Semjaza, to whom Thou hast given authority to bear
Rule over his associates. And they have gone to the daughters of men upon the earth,
And have slept with the
9 women, and have defiled themselves, and revealed to them all kinds of sins. And
The women have
10 borne giants, and the whole earth has thereby been filled with blood and
Unrighteousness. And now, behold, the souls of those who have died are crying and
Making their suit to the gates of heaven, and their lamentations have ascended: and
Cannot cease because of the lawless deeds which are
11 wrought on the earth. And Thou knowest all things before they come to pass, and
Thou seest these things and Thou dost suffer them, and Thou dost not say to us what
We are to do to them in regard to these.'

Chapter 10:1-8
1 Then said the Most High, the Holy and Great One spake, and sent Uriel to the son
Of Lamech,
2 and said to him: Go to Noah and tell him in my name "Hide thyself!" and reveal to
Him the end that is approaching: that the whole earth will be destroyed, and a deluge
Is about to come
3 upon the whole earth, and will destroy all that is on it. And now instruct him that he
May escape 4 and his seed may be preserved for all the generations of the world. And
Again the Lord said to Raphael: Bind Azazel hand and foot, and cast him into the
Darkness: and make an opening
5 in the desert, which is in Dudael, and cast him therein. And place upon him rough
And jagged rocks, and cover him with darkness, and let him abide there for ever, and
Cover his face that he may
6,7 not see light. And on the day of the great judgement he shall be cast into the fire.
And heal the earth which the angels have corrupted, and proclaim the healing of the
Earth, that they may heal the plague, and that all the children of men may not perish
Through all the secret things that the
8 Watchers have disclosed and have taught their sons. And the whole earth has been

You Lover can now be counted among the Fallen Angels because you have revealed his Iniquity to us all. Hopefully you are just making all of this up? 😐
Christa (2 stories) (8 posts)
13 years ago (2009-05-12)
Dear angel feathers,
I totally agree with you. Never said that Ethan drawing on the writer's energy was good. On the contrary. That's why I advice the writer" to live her life", and "not mix both worlds"= do not even CONSIDER a relationship with Ethan...
If Ethan has the "permission" to visit, is that the author has something to learn from this experience (it can be a good or a bad experience).
angelfeathers (106 posts)
13 years ago (2009-05-12)
The warning beacon in this story is the writer's nausea/blackout reflex to these visitations. Even if these physical problems occur because "Ethan" is drawing on the writer's energy to appear, it's STILL a problem -- because "Ethan" is USING Linamoo79. I wouldn't condone that in a real-life relationship any more than I'd condone it in this one.

Think about it this way: "Ethan" shows up occasionally, uses Linamoo79, says a few nice things, leaves, and then she gets sick. Does this really sound like a healthy relationship to you?

I have a feeling, Linamoo79, that this isn't really what you expect (or want) it to be. If you allow this to continue, things are going to change (like in any relationship) -- and my bet is that it's not going to be for the better. It may take some time; but these things are very patient -- they have all of eternity to spend in pursuit of self-gratification -- and they're very devious/manipulative. Please consider.

Christa (2 stories) (8 posts)
13 years ago (2009-05-10)
Thanks Linamoo79 for your story. I hope you're ok and you haven't got any hallucinations because of tumor:D Angelfeathers has a point, but I want to believe Ethan is really visiting you. I think Ethan is a person that loved you once and still loves you, and still cares for you. As far as I know, from my experiences and readings, spirits that are not lost souls,... Can come and visit their loved ones and care for them but they have got a permission to come, and visit. If Ethan is not allowed to be a regular part of your life, is because you're alive and he's not, and if you're on earth and he's not, you have to live your life. Both worlds can't be mixed. Concerning the other people being with him the first time you saw him, were they together? Like a group? I have heard that spirits are never alone, but in groups (I'm not mentioning lost souls or earthbound spirits). The groups are made of spirits from the same level. Concerning the nausea and vomiting, he probably is taking your energy to appear. In anyways, this is just my point of view...
crystal8495 (guest)
13 years ago (2009-05-05)
ohh I deal with something similar except the idiot and I hate eachother but he does help me, not the way ethan helps you though... And the idiot appears to me mostly everyday for a while... He says that "i need him"... Lucky you. You're in love I'm being harrassed. 😜 😕 😉
linamoo79 (guest)
13 years ago (2009-05-05)
It's name is Ethan. It has appeared 4 times. Not sure what to say about the love or the relationship (if there even is one) it's all so... I don't know what it is. It is a concern about the relationship not being allowed, is there danger or something, or is it a trick.
As for the nausea/blackouts, maybe it's hallucinations because of tumor or something, that's possible isn't it?!?!?!?! But someone else say it too and there were other people with it the first time. What does it mean?!?!
BriFischer05 (14 stories) (169 posts)
13 years ago (2009-05-05)
Wow, I don't really know what to say. More clarification of Angelfeathers questions would be helpful. I myself am a little doubtful / concerned.
blank (8 stories) (110 posts)
13 years ago (2009-05-05)
Wow... That's really touching. Heyy really nice to hear that your in good terms with an apparition, is there any chance he could be one of your lost loved ones. Heyy did you have a troubled life, that is in a point where you thought you had no one or it wasn't worth living. Please try answering these it will clear my doubts. But whatever it is, it doesn't mean any harm to you. Take Care.
courtneyOMGG (12 stories) (179 posts)
13 years ago (2009-05-04)
This story is beautiful, and sounds very comforting to you. 😊
It's nice to read a happy story from time to time on this site!
Take care
girlie (15 stories) (426 posts)
13 years ago (2009-05-04)
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, that was so so... ❤. That was a great story. I just read your first story. They both were really good. What I think he is, is a past life lover. I heard this story once about a woman who would see a shadow of a man nearly everwhere she went. Even in her bed once. Well my hero told her it was just her past life lover. Meaning your last life you had you fell in love with someone. Then you and him died after awhile, so you went to your next life but he didn't but he still care for you, so he follows you and watches over you. I hope that sounded right. Well that what I think he is and why you like him so much from only knowing him for a short time in this life.
cracklepaint (1 stories) (14 posts)
13 years ago (2009-05-04)
it's probably a spirtual guide of some sort.
A gaurdian angel.

Though angelfeathers has a point.
angelfeathers (106 posts)
13 years ago (2009-05-04)
Linamoo79, I hope you'll take this in the manner it's intended (with concern rather than ridicule): Either you're honing your fiction-writing skills here, or you've got some issues that require attention.

1. How many times have you seen this being that you can honestly declare your love for it? What kind of a relationship do you have with it? What is it's name? (You wrote that it told you it's name in "My Admirer.") If you're not "allowed" to tell us it's name -- why is naming it forbidden?

2. Does it concern you that this being's relationship with you "isn't allowed?"

3. Does it concern you that "it"'s appearance in your life coincides with nauseau and/or blackouts?

I was tempted to say "incubus," but this doesn't seem to fit the pattern with blackouts/nausea and the relative lack of coital description. I really HATE to even write this (primarily because the term is usually misapplied, overused, and/or regarded as inflamatory -- but I'll do it anyway): In consideration of the blackouts/nausea and your own welcoming-attitude, I'm tempted to call this "possession." Anyone else?

bluegirl0506 (3 stories) (43 posts)
13 years ago (2009-05-04)
This is pretty cool! I mean, to have a ghost friend! Most ghosts, spirits I come in contact with are not nice. Go you!

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