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She Came Back To Say She's Ok


My mother-in-law passed away recently. It was very quick, which made me happy for her, because I was very fond of her and didn't want to see her in so much pain. She left behind her three sons, her husband, a grandson, and an ex-husband to whom she was still very fond of as well.

I made the great mistake of telling her son (whom I live with) that she visited me. This was a night later after they had pulled the plug (so to speak). He is not a believer, and never would have seen her. He was also not home at the time.

I was getting ready for bed, putting on hand cream, etc when, there she was standing by the bedroom door. She did NOT look remotely see-through or ghost like. All she did was tell me to tell her Schatzis and her husbands (by name) that she loves them and that she is OK. (I was a little offended I wasn't included, but that is beside the point).

I got up and went over to her because she seemed so real, and by the time I got to her, she'd vanished. I went out to the balcony and sat there for a long time. When my husband came home I told him what she said, and he just said I must have been dreaming. I truly believe she wanted them to know, as she was a very spiritual person. Her sons, however, are not so I'll keep my mouth shut henceforth.

It was nice to see her again. And for the record, which I won't tell the sons, she was young and smoking a cigarette, which she hadn't done in many years. But it was definitely her.

I still wish there was a way to convince the boys that she loves them - but it seems a hopeless point if they will just think I'm nuts, or dreaming. The only happy point is that I got to see her one last time in her youth. Shame on me, I didn't ask her what was on the other side that made her OK?

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Raftingirl, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

felidee623 (4 stories) (4 posts)
10 years ago (2015-01-18)
My mother passed away when I was 5, and my grandmother tells me that the day after my mom died, my grandma saw her in her car while she was driving. My grandmother says that my mom looked like a real person and she just kept telling her that everything would be OK... And then she just vanished!
Raftingirl (2 stories) (113 posts)
10 years ago (2014-03-11)
It took a while for me to realize this, thickie that I am, but it could be because all her boys were there and had to make the difficult decision. She really was suffering, and not conscious even. I took every chance to hold and massage her feet or hold her hand and tell her how much I loved her. When I told my husband he should hold her hand and tell her how he feels about her, he wouldn't do it. I suspect he thought she was already gone since she was on life support. I'm so glad I'm a woman - though in her husband's defense, he talked to her constantly in those last days. Someday, I may tell HIM about what she said ~ and hopefully he will have seen her too.
spiritwaiting (42 stories) (843 posts)
10 years ago (2014-03-08)
raftingirl, I always enjoy your stories. 😊 And I feel the same way about my grandfather. And when I'm going through a tough experience in life, he always shows up with a Red Cardinal, and a visitation. Give her time, and she will come to you. Just remember she will give you some sort of sign shes there, and only you personally will know. I completely understand your family still being quite emotional from a passing. It takes time. As long as you stay open to her she will visit. ❤
Raftingirl (2 stories) (113 posts)
10 years ago (2014-03-05)
Spiritwaiting - that is good advice. I'll try that, but maybe later. They may be a bit raw still, as I know I am, and wish I had her here still as I could definitely use her advice on personal issues. I admired her very much. I don't expect I'll get to see her again, but if I DO, I will ask about the other side and what makes her OK. ❤
AudreyJay (1 stories) (17 posts)
10 years ago (2014-03-03)
She appeared to you, that should be all the validation you need.:) Sometimes people are afraid of what they don't understand, and will often brush it off so as not to have to deal with it. If she knows her kids, she knows you tried your best to relay her message. Don't fret.
spiritwaiting (42 stories) (843 posts)
10 years ago (2014-03-01)
raftingirl, She must have loved and trusted you. She knew you would try to tell them she wanted them to know she loved them and she was ok. Try this, if and when they talk about her, and there memories of her tell them she will remember and love them always. That way your relaying her message in a different way, other than telling them about your experience. She'll know what your doing, and I'm sure she'll have a huge smile on her face.
Raftingirl (2 stories) (113 posts)
10 years ago (2014-02-26)
Thank you all for your comments. I just wish her son would believe me:)
lady-glow (16 stories) (3167 posts)
10 years ago (2014-02-24)
Raftingirl: thanks for sharing such a nice story.
Knowing that smoking is possible "on the other side" makes me hope that it will be OK to stuff myself with chocolates without having to worry about a growing waistline! 😉
Triskaideka (2 stories) (388 posts)
10 years ago (2014-02-24)
I agree with mamachong. She came to you, which means a lot. Further, her sons are probably still feeling rather raw. Hopefully at some point you can tell them when they are more receptive. It's a good thing you're in their lives. 😊
mamachong (11 stories) (228 posts)
10 years ago (2014-02-23)
Even if she didn't tell you goodbye or that she loved you, she still chose you to appear to. That speaks volumes in my opinion. Mabie she tried to appear to them as well but they wasn't very receptive to it.

I lost my mom eight months ago. Even though its been that long, its still pretty fresh to me. Sometimes I can talk about her with out any emotional problems, other times it takes me a step or two back into the mourning or grieving stage. All I'm saying is don't get discouraged. You probably hit a raw nerve.

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