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Death Visits And Coincidences


This is a very difficult story for me to tell. As a little background I would like to mention that my brother committed suicide decades ago. His birthday was November 9. Six years after he died my father died on my brother's birthday, November 9. Moving ahead another 13 or 14 years my mother died on November 11. If one checks the calendar one can see that this is the same weekend of the month of November although not exactly the same day.

My mother and I have had a very difficult history. She had rewritten her history to make her the best mother that ever lived. Frankly that was not true. She was abusive and this contributed to my brother's suicide. At the time of her death, I was alone in her condo for about a week. My oldest brother and his wife had been her primary caregivers until I came to stay with her and give them a break. I hated being alone with her and was freaked out by the atmosphere in her condo, which I understand may have been my own projections. However, I felt that there were spirits around every corner, to the extent I contemplated putting a "Do not enter" sign on my bedroom door. My mother had previously been calling out to my father to take her away and even though my father was a kind man that I loved, I didn't want to see him either.

A few days before her last breath, while barely able to speak, my mother mentioned she'd had two visitors, people I had never heard of. We figured out these were people she'd known before she came to America and one of her sisters confirmed this.

I have no doubt she was visited by these old friends as well as by my father. What is most coincidental is that the second weekend of November seems to be a special date for my family, whether good or bad.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, RitaCMW, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

ifihadyoux (6 stories) (607 posts)
8 years ago (2014-12-12)
I am so sorry for your losses as well. Suicide and death is something I struggle with too and can only imagine what you're going through.
Though that weekend is special is interesting. Can you share any good experiences from that weekend? I only recall reading the bad.
sushantkar (16 stories) (530 posts)
8 years ago (2014-12-12)
RitaCMW, your life is full of tragedies and sorrow. Even I was filling uneasy while reading. How you have maintained your self in such a greivefull environment I don't no.
I would like to extent my condolence to those family members who you have lost.
May their soul rest in peace and may god gives you power to bear such a painful life.
I would pray to god to bring happiness and joy in your life.

With best regards
Vonboeckmann (guest)
8 years ago (2014-12-08)
Hi I too am sorry for your loss.
As for the dates this is not as unusal as you may think. We had twins aunt and uncle. My uncle J used to always say he was a gentleman and let his sister aunt M be born first. As he did upon death. Same day auny M first exactly 10 years apart. We also have a history of one deceased one born same day.
As for your mum... We had a case of that earlier this year. After some discussion we came to the conclusion when J died she saw 3 family members one from each past generation. Either it was medication hallucinations or body chemistry changes in the brain toxicology during death. OR God allowing these spirits through to be seen to comfort the dying guardian angles if you like. OR a combination of the both. I do hope this has been of some help * note we. Are humble nurses engineers and minister. Wishing you future happiness
Kind regards J
Sam222 (8 stories) (461 posts)
8 years ago (2014-12-08)
Sorry for all your loses, it makes me feel real bad about how your dad died on your brothers birthday.
You said you could feel spirits around every corner, did you ever see anything?
And it's too bad you could get any more information out of your mom before she passed.
Thanks for sharing your story.
RitaCMW (2 stories) (16 posts)
8 years ago (2014-12-07)
Thank you for your kind comments. I had not heard that it was a usual thing for births and deaths to follow along the same dates. I am not sure if anything paranormal was going on when my dad died but it is certainly possible he was thinking of my brother. I trully believe my mother had deathbed visitors. I also should mention that her hospice doctor told me that he was willing to bet that her old friends who visited her had already died but we had no way to verify that.
WiniPu4 (207 posts)
8 years ago (2014-12-07)
My condolences on your losses.
I also have found scores of coinciding birth & death dates as well as particular times of the year that are eventful. My in-laws had the last name of a month and both died tragically during that same month years apart. Many of my loved ones have died on both my grandmother's birthdays. My best friend shares the birthday of one of my grandmothers. A favorite uncle was born on one grandmother's birthday and died on the other one's. And, it goes on and on, especially noticeable during genealogical research.
I was once told by an elder that within a group "we like to come in and out on the same days". I haven't any idea how or why this is, but it seems to be a theory that has proven itself, at least to me.
There is also an old belief that before a death, there will be three "visitors". They can come as apparitions/visions, knocks, phone calls, and noises.
I don't know if you've ever heard any of this stuff before, but maybe it will helpful in some way.
Kind Regards,
elnoraemily (11 stories) (1051 posts)
8 years ago (2014-12-05)
I am sorry for your losses.

It could be that your brother's suicide had an impact on when your father died. If he was in failing health, the impact of heartache could have allowed him to pass at that night.

Your mother, though, I have no explanation for.

Very interesting streak your family has going with that weekend. Best wishes to you.

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