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Help Me Understand


I'm an 18 year old female and I've "BEEN" seeing dead people! I honestly wish I could understand the real reason why this happens to me. If someone very close to me is going to die I can feel it weeks before it happens. I actually have this "Death feeling" that I cannot explain.

In 2010 I was 12-13. To make this long story short, my male cousin died and I saw him on his own memorial day! He got sick and was admitted to the hospital. It wasn't that serious but I got a death feeling that I was going to lose someone close to me.

I told my mom he was going to die. My mom said I shouldn't say that. I wanted to go see him at the hospital one last time because I knew he wasn't going to make it. But I never did go.

On his memorial day, his friend was saying his farewell to my cousin and he also mentioned a couple of all the nice things about him. Then the people were laughing and all. Then I looked to my right and I saw him with the other guys who were alive. He was also laughing along with the others.

I wanted to scream, but came to my senses that people will perceive me as CRAZY! So I tapped my female cousin who was seating in my left. I looked at the male section again and he was still there.

My female cousin had no idea what was going on. Nobody had. Only I could see him. My female cousin made eye contact with me and I tried showing her with my eyes, she looked and still didn't see his ghost. And it was still there! She could see the fear in my eyes but she couldn't understand what was going on!

After the funeral my little brother reported to having seen ghostly figures in there.

My sister's boyfriend died and a year later I was walking on the street and saw a guy I knew but as I got closer I realized it wasn't his own face but my sister's boyfriend. I was so confused... This guy wouldn't normally speak to me but he would greet here and there.

This time he had a serious look on his face and said, "You're very beautiful, take care of yourself." I wasn't focusing on what he was saying but at his face, because I knew that guy and knew that this wasn't him I was looking at.

I told my parents about it and they were shocked! My mom went pale and said WHAT? I smiled and lied to her and said that it was all a joke. Because she takes everything lightly and I, myself, couldn't understand what had happened.

In 2013 I lost someone I deeply cared about, we shall call him "M". Now M and I used to be classmates years ago in primary school. Fast toward to the future, he was 18, I was 15 and I happened to bump into him at a shop one day after school (mind you, we went to different high schools but we were doing the same grades). I actually greeted him and we had a conversation. "M" was very friendly, down to earth, shy, he had a good personality, he was cute and I liked him.

A few weeks went by and I was in the house looking outside the window. I saw "M" passing by. I called my mom who was close by and when she saw him she smiled and pitied him since he had lost all his family at such a young age.

"M" was the only one left in his family. His father got ill and passed away. M's little brother died a few years later and M's mother died two years later leaving "M" alone with the family from his mom's and dad's side.

Now there is an incident that occurred years before "M's mother passed away which still bothers me. One day I was walking to my Aunt's house which happens to be opposite M's house. As I was approaching from the distance, M's mom had just arrived from work. She drove in the driveway and got out of her car carrying some files. She was about to close the door when she saw me and she literally froze on the spot and stared right at me!

I was confused, I thought I was going to greet her but I did not because I didn't know what was happening. She had a blank look on her face and her eyes moved along with me... I looked away and looked again, she was still looking at me. I was astonished but I did not show it. I walked passed her and looked back... To my surprise she was still staring at me (this was the first time I met M's mother and it was like she knew / she could see something about me). I heard the car door being slammed shut and I turned around and it was like nothing happened. She locked her car and walked to her house.

That was the first and last time I met M's mom. After she had died two years after her death M stayed with his cousins in his mother's house.

My Aunt (who is the cause of all pain in the family) got sick and went to the hospital. I wasn't really bothered. I just didn't care... A few weeks later a feeling of death overcame me. It was so intense! I wasn't bothered since I knew it was my aunt. The second week the feeling just became too much.

I usually pray and ask god to spare whoever's life is on the line when I get this feeling. But this time, I told myself whatever! Because it was the aunt who was the cause of all pain in the family.

The feeling lasted for two weeks and it suddenly disappeared. By the third week my sister's mom came for a visit and as they were having a conversation I was eavesdropping on them.

They had a conversation and then she said to mom: Have you heard about M? My mom said: No, what happened? As soon as my mom's sister said he had passed away, I couldn't control myself.

Tears filled my eyes. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. I was silently crying and tears were uncontrollably running down my cheeks. I thought to myself: No, no, no, no! NO! My mom was shocked! She also couldn't believe it. M "drowned" and his body was missing in the sea for three days. It was so painful to me because I cared about him and it turned out that he was the one I had a death feeling on. Not my aunt.

On his funeral day I was in my room crying my eyes out! I kept asking WHY? And HOW COULD HE JUST LEAVE LIKE THAT WITHOUT EVEN SAYING GOODBYE?

I took a deep breath, wiped my tears and pulled myself together. I got off the bed and when I turned he was right there smiling at me!

He was so beautiful! I just stood there staring at him (I wish I had reached out). I blinked and he was still there, he was wearing a white shirt that which had a design I had never seen in this world before. His shirt was SO white and it kind of looked like a dress with many layers like rose petals (It sounds absurd but that how I can describe it). I've come to think of it I never saw his arms or feet... After that he slowly faded away until he was all gone.

I just want to be normal like other teenagers sometimes. I don't want to know who will die next or what will happen next because I cannot take it sometimes... I just feel crazy!

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Porsha, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

maggirockz13 (13 stories) (163 posts)
5 years ago (2016-10-26)
Hi Porsha,
Thanks for sharing your story
And don't be sad because its a gift.
Sorry for your Loss.

To PureIndian,
I'm also a Hindu, but I never heard this that seeing someone death is a curse. I have heard many stories maybe some are true and some are not. But about your comment I don't think so seeing so it can be a curse. Its more painful to see someone die before its actually going to happen.
Please respect someone feeling without hurting them.

To Biblio,
Hats off to you, I loved your comment.
Everyone has different cultures and believes of there own.

To Miracles51031, lady-glow and Randym,
I loved your comment, Hats off to you three.


TheSkeptic (21 posts)
5 years ago (2016-10-17)
Sometimes the human mind perceives what it wants to see as real. The brain is an interesting and very complex organ and as a skeptic always like to give a different perspective. As the scientific theory of occams razor explains "the most simplex explanation is the most common". In this case I think its your mind playing tricks on you. I do wish you the best of luck regardless.
Scotsguy (5 posts)
5 years ago (2016-10-16)
Hi porsha. Found your account very interesting and unusual and not seen or read much of this. Anyway I know it must seem hard to deal with this at times but sounds to me like you have a gift of some sort. Due to the nature of this I personally wouldn't feel fear or frightened of the appearances as I think the gift you have will protect you as well.
Bibliothecarius (8 stories) (1067 posts)
5 years ago (2016-10-06)
A clarification:
Lady-glow's quote is an aphorism from "InΓ©s of My Soul" by Isabel Allende.
lady-glow (13 stories) (2839 posts)
5 years ago (2016-10-02)
Porsha: I find your story and the comments in this tread really interesting and enlightening; but I can not help to disagree with your last comment in the part where you say:

"...The year before my friend "M" died, I had the very same death feeling and spoke to my classmate about it and he told me that "I cannot stop that person from dying BUT I can postpone their death". I prayed about it, the whole thing stopped and
Nobody died."

Death is inevitable and "no one is carried off to the other world before the appointed hour." (This last quote is from a book which title and author I don't remember. 😐)

For what I gather, you can sense when some one close to you is going to die, but are unable to accurately pinpoint who the (unlucky) person is going to be nor can predict the circumstances surrounding their death. How can you be sure your prayers prevented "M" from dying a year earlier? πŸ˜•
Are you suggesting that, through prayer, we can change God's decision about the time when somebody has to die?

I know miracles happen but, from your narrative, I'm not sure that your prayers were the only reason that bought "M" some extra time or if you were sensing his imminent death.
Porsha (1 stories) (1 posts)
5 years ago (2016-10-01)
Thank you all for the positive replies.

I just want to include this very last piece which is very relevant to my last post. The year before my friend "M" died, I had the very same death feeling and spoke to my classmate about it and he told me that "I cannot stop that person from dying BUT I can postpone their death". I prayed about it, the whole thing stopped and
Nobody died.

Then the following year the death feeling returned, I didn't pray since I thought it was going to be my aunt but I was wrong.


I have been having strange dreams where I time travel back to the past and to future at will (I have no idea what this means). Recently something strange occurred.

I will include the experiences that link to my dreams on my next post.
RedWolf (31 stories) (1292 posts)
5 years ago (2016-09-29)

I've had dreams of blood relatives deaths only, so it was more like precognitive dreams. Within a week to 10 days the person I have had the dream about dies.

I am sorry for the loss of your friend. I lost a friend at a young age but he had told ME he knew he was going to die soon.

My daughter knew a young man who was tortured and murdered when she was about 12 it was very hard on her. My son Whitewolf found out a friend had been murdered and I said the name of another friend of his did the murder. I was right but you can't just go to the police and tell them you're a psychic and lead them to a killer, they would either laught at you or question you and in my case they could have questioned my son. It cost his family dearly because they helped him evade the police for about a year.

brettscharff (11 posts)
5 years ago (2016-09-29)
Hi Porsha,

I just wanted to say a little something here. Even in such harsh times such as death, there can be a silver lining. The fact that M came back to visit you like that really showed he cared about you the way you cared about him. I don't believe spirits have unlimited energy, so for him to choose to use his to manifest to you, is something I'd consider an honor. 😁
sds (14 stories) (1434 posts)
5 years ago (2016-09-26)
Dear Porsha, thanks for sharing your experiences. And I feel very sorry for the loss of your friend "M".

Mods, please excuse me. I am going to address Biblio now. Excellent comments both towards Pureindian and the O/P. I am just feeling like Randym. I can't vote more than once to you for both the comments. Great comments, positive. I wish I had that kind of attitude to advise people on this and off this site.

Secondly, I wanted to tell you that I am a Hindu. I have also read religious texts. I have also read Upanishads and Vedas and some more. Nowhere it has been mentioned that "knowing someone's death in advance" is a curse. So to that extent I disagree with Pureindian.

Porsha, as Biblio said, whether you agree with it or not, whether you ignore it or not, it is a premonition or advance information or whatever you call it, you are blessed with it. It is quite difficult to know about someone's death, especially if they are quite close to you. But, in your case, after reading your narrative, as Biblio said, you have the awareness or premonition about the death that is going to happen, in general and not the particular person.

But, it is better to pray, better to love, even if you know a particular person, so that he can pass off peacefully to the other world.

Welcome to YGS.

Regards and respects to you.

PriyankaMenon (2 stories) (41 posts)
5 years ago (2016-09-25)

Even I want to vote you, but unable to do so. I agree with you whatever you are saying.

Porsha dear

Don't get depressed dear. Your condition is understandable. You have that "gift" which makes you worried. Try to accept "Everything happens for a reason", "There are no accidents" we don't know why it happens. Just like Biblio has said I will also say the same pray for them whenever you feel something is not right. Pray that their pain becomes less and in peace they pass over.

Be strong.

There is one story similar to yours on this site where a girl had premonitions of her friends death. It was an Indian story. Read it. If I get the story name I will write here for you to there.

I want to share more, but since it happened with my friends, it's not really mine hence can't share.
RANDYM (2 stories) (266 posts)
5 years ago (2016-09-25)

I wish I could give you more than 1+ vote for your last comment as I thought
It was very positive and inspirational for something that can be so difficult
For someone like Porsha to have to learn to live with.

I'm sure this "gift" seems much more like a burden and I'm sorry you have to
Learn to live with this but I'm also sure you can and will. We don't know why
Some are given the extra abilities that they have. What I think you should try
And do is follow Biblie's advice. Just being loving and kind to a person who
Will soon cross over can make all the difference in the world to that person.
Even in anger, find kindness and love. I'm sure as your journey through life
Progresses you will find a way to make positive use of your gift.

For what it's worth, I'm part of a research project that has been in active
Communication with a "never been human" spirit guide for over 10 years now.
I'll refer to him as a "he" but in fact is neither male nor female.
Many questions that are not for the living to know are not answered.
On the questions of religion his answer is this.
"No ONE religion has all of the true answers as there are some truths in all of the major religions, the difficult part is in finding that pure truth because
Mankind has had his hands all over them."

For all,
Thought for today.
A direct quote of this same spirit's words:
"The very most important thing you can do while living a human life is to find love in all things, in everyone you see, and in every situation. Love is the most
Powerful energy there is. Love is the reason you exist. Love is reason you continue. Love is all that matters. Love is everything, everything, everything..."

Bibliothecarius (8 stories) (1067 posts)
5 years ago (2016-09-25)
Greetings, Porsha, and welcome to YGS.

When you get the premonition of someone's imminent death, it can be very hard to know what to do about it. I can tell you from personal experience that warning others about what you know/sense/see does not prevent the event from happening. I've tried.

Knowing someone else's future doesn't mean you can help him or her to avoid it. However, it does give you the opportunity to be kinder to that person in the time that remains. Regrets over actions not taken do hurt a lot, and I'm sorry that you had to learn that through the death of "M." Nothing you did, and nothing you failed to do, could alter the outcome of that premonition; you've taken your anger with your aunt and re-directed it at yourself because you presumed that your premonition was for the death of your aunt.

If your premonition does not specify the individual, then it's very hard to know what to do. When you feel that a death is going to occur I'd recommend that you pray (as this was your habit in the past), but pray that the individual who is going to die has an easy and peaceful transition to the afterlife, and that he or she does not suffer. On the other hand, if the premonition includes the information on who is going to die, you should pray for that individual as you think best.

While this is an uncomfortable "gift" to have, it's a very difficult one to ignore. Knowing what will happen but being unable to alter the events can drive you batty. Instead, use knowing what will happen as an inspiration for being especially kind or forgiving to a person who will soon be deceased. You cannot carry the burden of human mortality, but you can carry hope and kindness with you every day.

Be well, Porsha, and be kind to yourself. The future is not your fault; the only thing you can only ever change is you.

Bibliothecarius (8 stories) (1067 posts)
5 years ago (2016-09-25)
Pure Indian:

I would like to point out that no-one has disrespected your faith in any way.

There are several major religions in India; the largest, by far, is Hinduism. Though Hindus are about 80% of the population, three other religions also began in India: Buddhism, Jainism, and Sikhism. Additional religions, which started elsewhere, are represented by Indians who follow the teachings of Islam, Christianity, Zoroastrianism, and Judaism. I'm pretty certain that not *all* of these Indian religions agree that the premonition of death is a curse by God (In fact, I'm sure that Christianity and Judaism don't mention it at all).

To suggest that one viewpoint is correct, on behalf of a huge nation, is an example of the "secundum quid" logical fallacy; a "hasty generalization" derived from inductive reasoning, but based upon insufficient evidence to support the claim.

It may be that there is a solution to Porsha's difficulty in seeking out a Hindu ashram and spending time in meditation and prayer. However, about 86% of South Africans are Christian, while 1.2% are Hindu and 1.5% are Muslim. Bringing a positive message about a Hindu belief is certainly welcome (such as learning meditative techniques), but it may be that Porsha's own religion or tradition would forbid this practice.

Please, be considerate of others' beliefs and cultures when posting on this respectful and polite international forum.

lady-glow (13 stories) (2839 posts)
5 years ago (2016-09-24)
Pureindian: I'm sure any Indian priest would agree with you, but the opinion of a priest of any other faith/religion will be different.
Just look at the country where the OP lives and you'll get an idea of their religious beliefs.

Please be respectful and open to the diversity of the members of this forum.

This comment from Pureindian is hidden due to low rating. Show comment

Miracles51031 (38 stories) (4982 posts) mod
5 years ago (2016-09-24)
pureindian - please keep in mind our site represents many different beliefs. Not everyone believes the way you do.

This comment from Pureindian is hidden due to low rating. Show comment

Mannerizms (10 stories) (172 posts)
5 years ago (2016-09-24)
Hello Porsha,

I am sorry that when your friend passed it hit the hardest. It is always difficult when someone passes; as for this gift you are given, if you can find someone who can work with you on it. In time you can have a bit of control what you feel. It has took me a long time to be able to handle my gift. Especially in teenage years, the difficult part of it is that there are a lot of hormones and it tends to make it that much more difficult to handle.

I found meditation can help a LOT. But if not having this is something that you want you close off this is also possible. Look for shaman's in your local area that can help.

Blessed be and stay safe! ❀
lady-glow (13 stories) (2839 posts)
5 years ago (2016-09-24)
RedBlackRosemama: not meaning to pry but, do you know the cause of your friend's death? Was he sick or was his death an accident?
Some illnesses and metabolic disorders produce bad odors in a sick person. It is possible that your experience was not so much a premonition but only your sense of smell perceiving a symptom of your friend's disease.

Porscha: death is an inevitable part of life, although scary, your experiences are proof that our loved ones are still around after "dieing".

Thanks for sharing.
RedBlackRosemama (34 posts)
5 years ago (2016-09-24)
Sorry for your lost of your friend and I knew the feeling I have same problem about feeling of death not of death just smell death before person died my good friend I visit his house I was going to spend the night but I smell something it's smell like death then few weeks later he died.
Seraphina (7 stories) (147 posts)
5 years ago (2016-09-24)
Hi, Porsha. Quite a few people on this site have had experiences similar to yours. (So have I.) It can be scary or at least unnerving, but it's not as unusual as one might think. Maybe some others on YGS will share their stories with you.

I'm no expert. My own impression--for what it's worth--is that you can weaken the "signal" by ignoring it, but you can't make it completely go away. If you give this some thought, you might conclude that your ability is a gift.

why_not (2 stories) (6 posts)
5 years ago (2016-09-24)
I think it's a gift. You should use it for your own benefit. Maybe you can save people 😁
OCGirl (4 stories) (64 posts)
5 years ago (2016-09-23)
Hi Porsha:

So sorry for the loss of your friend. Having that talent is quite a gift. I hope you can learn to be at peace with it someday.
shelbyloree (5 stories) (285 posts)
5 years ago (2016-09-23)
Having so much death around you, maybe it's not such a bad thing having a warning system like that. It's more of prepping mechanism rather than a curse.

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