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Going To The Cemetery


Today, Feb.8, 2020 at approximately 1:45pm my husband and I were heading to the Cemetery to visit my youngest sister who passed away at age 38. Today made two years and we were meeting my family to visit her.

Weird things have been happening, like my husband's toothbrush being thrown twice in the shower. Weird I know, but today on our way the radio station kept changing on us as we were driving. We have a newer vehicle so no issues with it. It has never happened before.

I've been really depressed the last few weeks knowing this terrible anniversary was coming up. I was anxious, afraid to go. It makes it too real to see her headstone.

I wonder if it's her? I find dimes and pennies, see shadows, hubby's toothbrush gets thrown in the shower. I think about her daily. I miss her so much. So much was left unsaid when she passed. I'm not sure if this is real, meaning I'm kind of freaked out and so is my husband. I want to see her so bad. I want to talk to her. Sometimes I feel someone rubbing my side when I'm in bed, when I'm sad. I know it isn't my husband, he sleeps in a separate bedroom because of his cpap machine.

Is she visiting me? Or could it be my own energy doing this? I wish I could communicate with her. I wish I knew who this is. If she's trying to get my attention, if it's her or another family member.

I know this stuff seems small, but this is new to us. My husband's brother also passed recently. His was due to his wife's neglects, it could have been prevented. We tried getting guardianship of him but lost. He was 57. My sister passed from cancer. She was 38 with a 5 year old and an eight month old.

Thanks so much for letting me tell my small story.

What do you think?


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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Dana64, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

AugustaM (7 stories) (996 posts)
4 years ago (2020-03-10)
First thing *big hug*!

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to communicate. Have you considered visiting a medium or spiritualist? To be sure there are charlatans out there but I have come across a few that really did seem to be gifted in spite of my best efforts to provide them with no leads or tells.

You could also try speaking with her through meditation.

I would also recommend a cleansing of the house and yourself just as a precaution. If the entity is your sister -and most likely it is- then her presence should not be effected but, if not, that ought to soothe the activity you are experiencing. A respected member, rookdygin has a tried and true method on his profile and here is a link to a page with some decent household remedies and a few for communication as well:
silverthane61 (4 stories) (344 posts)
4 years ago (2020-03-09)
I am impressed by the fact that you mentioned that you could be the source of the paranormal activity. In a sense, you may be creating your own poltergeists. I am not sure this may be the case, but it does lend an interesting possibility. If it is your sister, the I suspect the incidents to tail off in frequency the farther you get from the anniversary of your sister's passing.
Bibliothecarius (9 stories) (1091 posts)
4 years ago (2020-03-07)
A response to Mrs. Ramsay:

Thank you for the lovely compliment, Mrs. R.!

Even decades later, it can't hurt to try having the conversation & talk things out with your loved one.

The first person I gave this advice to was my mother, *at least* 25 years after the death of her mother. (To clarify: my mother is a hardline, right-wing, monomaniacal, Bible-thumping protestant who believes in the God/Satan duality without any nuances or distinctions.) I told her, truthfully, that *prayer* is a more supernatural activity than this suggestion. She did feel better after her conversation, but I did not want to pry.

Airing your points of pain and grief so that the other party can hear you should lead to some understanding, may release a spirit that feels bound or obligated, and will bring peace to the living. I believe this will work in cases of supernatural entanglement; I also believe that it may prove theraputic to simply address the key issues from a psychological perspective, too. Having to take one's feelings and to translate them into words requires a degree of objectification; this gives the speaker a more well-rounded glimpse of his or her own life & the role that these feelings have played in shaping his or her actions.

I wish you well in your conversation.

MrsRamsay (guest)
4 years ago (2020-03-07)
From one teacher to another (yes, I love reading all your posts) that's such great advice! I wish I had known about it 20 years ago. Might go ahead and try it here anyway. Well, do you think it would be ok, or if it's been a long time would it stir things up?
Bibliothecarius (9 stories) (1091 posts)
4 years ago (2020-03-06)
Greetings, Dana, and welcome to YGS.

I didn't perceive any of the supernatural behaviors you described as being particularly threatening, with the possible exception of the toothbrush. Given the number of potentially-lethal items in a typical bathroom (hair dryer, razors, etc.,) the toothbrush seems relatively benign.

One factor I don't think anyone has raised yet is something that can happen when there is unfinished business between the deceased and the bereaved. *Sometimes* the grief that the bereaved feels acts like a magnet that makes it very difficult for the deceased to move on. I would recommend having a conversation with your sister. Pour yourself a coffee, sit at a small table for two, and start to talk to your sister about the events that have bothered you since her passing. Just chat. You'll notice that this is not a supernatural remedy, but a psychological one. You need to unburden yourself to your sister in straightforward conversation. If knowing that the other chair is physically empty is a distraction, you may wish to have both chairs face a window & put the table between them. As you converse with your sister, your feelings should become less constrictive and move towards peaceful acceptance.

If the above activity reduces/eliminates the peculiar phenomena you've experienced, then you'll know that you've done the right thing. If you still have random interactions with your sister's spirit, she may be lingering to look out for her children. Only if the paranormal events *increase* in intensity and regularity would I suggest that the spirit may not have been your sister; however, I think your gut is telling you that it is your sister & you should trust that feeling.

I do hope that you take this slightly off-kilter advice seriously and make an effort to chat with her; tell her how you feel and why.

Please take care of yourself.

MrsRamsay (guest)
4 years ago (2020-03-06)
I don't think you'll find nicer people than on this forum to share your unusual stories with. Glad you found it.

My heartfelt condolences on the loss of your sister, and I hope her children are doing as well as could be expected? If they are nearby, do you see them? The reason I ask is that, if somehow these events you mention are your sister, perhaps she's trying to not only reassure you, but hoping you will participate in their lives as well. Pure speculation on my part, but I know as a mom, the very worst thing about the prospect of dying is leaving my children here without me. Otherwise, not afraid.

I have had quite a few very close to me pass away, and in every case where I've felt them try and communicate, it was related to our children. (husband, my mom) We have had special and strange things happen at weddings, family holiday gatherings and on anniversaries. Special songs have been played on the radio on birthdays (in direct response to me talking to them). Things have jumped off my walls, off the shelves at grocery stores... I think they're just trying to get my attention sometimes. The others are right, perhaps some counseling might help you cope with your sister's passing. Perhaps she's trying to tell you that she would not want you or anyone to live their life in sadness. I have always felt that I'm supposed to live my life in joy, to its absolute fullest, because my loved ones would want that for me. For example, I have a son in law whose brother committed suicide. I knew when I met him that somehow he was NOT an only child like he said initially, and I know somehow, instinctively, that the reason he lives his life to its absolute fullest (he does the most fun things EVER, works hard, plays hard and finds joy in all things) is because his brother is WITH him, experiencing things with him or maybe even encouraging him. Well, maybe not all the time, but I do believe there is an influence somehow from beyond. Honor your sister, love her and mourn her, but if possible, accept the loss and LIVE for her as well! And do something special for her precious babies. They need you and the rest of the extended family to reassure them and love them!
RCRuskin (9 stories) (826 posts)
4 years ago (2020-03-06)
May her Memory be Eternal.

Without even reading the other comments, I'm going to agree with them, but when I read your post, Dana, I sense some very heavy luggage sitting by the door there. I would suggest speaking with a mental health professional to deal with all the stuff left behind by your sister's untimely passing.
VeronicaMarie (5 stories) (106 posts)
4 years ago (2020-03-05)
Dana, I am so sorry for the losses you and your husband have suffered. The thrown toothbrush seems especially strange. I'm no expert on the paranormal, but I was wondering whether it was you or your husband who was in the shower when the toothbrush got thrown?
Sending prayers and healing thoughts for you.
Rajine (14 stories) (813 posts)
4 years ago (2020-03-05)
Hi and I'm really sorry for your loss [at] dana64 I know the pain and emptyness following the passing of loved ones, it's quite hard to say whether it's your sister or another negative entity playing of your emotions at the moment, best speak to some sort of medium you feel that you can trust, I've often heard that during distressing situations such as death negative entities can play with our emotions and make us believe that it's our deceased family members that's around.

I know that it's hard not to be sad but try to remember all the good times you shared with her rather than being upset and sad, celebrate her life and not mourn her death, and best of luck in your search for answers.
Lealeigh (5 stories) (512 posts)
4 years ago (2020-03-05)
Hi Dana,

I am very sorry about your loss! I am 38 and I know what you mean by having things that were left unsaid.

Like Ladyglow, I suggest that you talk to your sister. Maybe you could visit her grave alone and just talk to her for a while. She will hear you and, once you get started, it will come out easily. It will be painful but I believe that you will leave with a sense of peace within.

It is sweet that she seems to be trying to comfort you. Suffering from this kind of loss is only for the living, in my opinion, and she might be hanging around until you are okay.

Thank you for sharing this.

- Maria
lady-glow (16 stories) (3159 posts)
4 years ago (2020-03-05)
I'm sorry for the loss of your loved ones.


Not meaning to pry in your private life but, have you considered asking for the help of a therapist? By this I'm not denying the possibility of a paranormal aspect to your experiences but, in my opinion, you shouldn't face this painful period on your own.

It seems like someone is really trying to tell you that they are with you, have you attempted to talk to them?

I can only imagine how unsettling it must be to witness all this unexplained activity around you though it doesn't seem to be malicious; I think it is your loved ones showing how much they care for you.

Perhaps you could ask your sister to come to you through a dream or ask for the help of a reliable medium/psychic if you know one, just be careful because there are many charlatans who don't mind to tell lies in exchange for easy cash.

Thanks for sharing your moving experience with us.
I wish you the best.

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