I know some of you have read my story of the re-occurring dream.
A strange thing has happened with this dream...
The last time I had this dream was about 2 weeks ago. It was a bit before the night I was hearing the knocking and the heavy breathing.
For the first time in so many years I could not recognise the place I was in or where I was. The dark male presence was no longer black but white. White hair, white cloak pale skin-just describing him has sent shivers up and down my body. He was holding me from behind, arms wrapped around my waist. He is very strong I could not get free, how I managed to come out of it I don't know but I did. Then of course, I heard the knocking and heavy breathing a couple days after that.
Last night was the first time in 2 weeks I actually felt really uneasy. My partner had gone to bed early. I had students over for yoga and they left about eight. I got changed, made myself a cup of tea. Inca our kitten was asleep in my son's room. I went into the living room and put the news. I sat on the sofa, watching the news but I was really agitated, I just could not settle.
I went to get Inca, but she would not come and sit with me which was weird. My boyfriend was out for six. I went into the kitchen and shut the windows. I then went into my son's room and made sure the windows were shut. I chained the front door. I went into the bedroom and made sure that the windows were closed. Back into the living, I made sure the windows and the garden door were closed. I kept getting chills running through. I watched about half an hour of the news and thought "bugger this, I'll go and lie down".
I usually go to bed and more or less fall asleep right away but last night was bad, I kept tossing, turning, the chills kept running through my body. My boyfriend did not stir once.
I kept getting up and checking the windows. I just felt someone or something was around. I don't know what time I managed to get to sleep. I fell asleep feeling really scared.
Usually when this presence is around me I wake up I can feel him but on this second occasion, no indication-only the fear that was running through me. I don't know if I am freaked out about reading Dario's story about the rape, but this is what has been happening.
Me and my boyfriend had had a really passionate night (sorry did not know how else to write it). I had to go to the loo. I finished in the loo and washed my hands. I had not even stepped out of the bathroom when he grabbed me from the behind again.
This male presence is not dressed in black as I stated earlier again but in white. He got me on the floor. I could feel his hand on me touching my lower back, his face resting on shoulder, his long white hair and white teeth-he was very strong and heavy. I tried to get away but could not. I could feel his heavy breath on me-I could feel his hands. My boyfriend woke me up while I was crying and mumbling "help".
I have been up since 2.30 this morning. I could not get back to sleep. My boyfriend got upset because of the way this presence is showing himself in my dream now. He said it breaks his heart because of the distress.
As I said I don't know if it after reading the rape story my brain has gone a bit bonkers or whether this male presence has changed his appearance. Whichever one, I am pretty freaked out, I am very tired as well. It feels like he is winning I cannot run from him anymore, I have no more warnings now.