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Why Does He Keep Coming Back


I have been in my apartment for six years now. I moved in with my two children straight after I got divorced. The 13 years I was married weren't exactly what I had expected. The relationship with the in-laws was excellent in the beginning. I suppose things took a turn after the birth of my second son.

The story is solely about my ex-father-in-law who passed away two years ago.

I will keep it short as I still find it difficult to accept what I endured at the hands of this man.

When I got married, I was treated like any other new member of the family. The whole family fussed over me. There was never a bad word said, yep the perfect daughter-in-law. In fact any family members who came to visit only came to see me.

The relationship with my father-in-law took a turn for the worst when I started working really. To cut a long story short before I left the marital home, my last words to him were "when you die, you will go to heaven, GOD will throw you to down into HELL, the DEVIL himself will throw you out of HELL as your sins are not forgivable, and the DEVIL would not even do to his enemy what you did to me". Very harsh but for what I went through I was very bitter and forgiving him is something I still cannot do to this day.

One of things I could not stand, in fact I would feel like throwing up was the smell of my father-in-law. He has this really sickening smell around him, metallic if that makes sense. I remember when he would come out of the shower and the smell that followed, it seriously would make me want to pass out it was that bad. Funny enough I was the only one who could smell this horrible stench. All this is relevant to the story.

Now as I said I have been in my place for 6 years now coming on to seven. Last week it was Friday I walked in from work opened my front door and was hit by the smell of my father-in-law. I opened all the windows, I cleaned my place top to bottom telling myself it was something else, maybe a dead mouse. After maybe 3 hours of cleaning the smell was still there. I went to bed and it was as if I had gone to bed with that smell right next to me. The smell was still there Saturday morning and by Saturday evening it was gone.

A few days' passed and no horrible odours about.

Wednesday evening my son walked out of his room and said it smelt like someone had died in his room. I walked in and could smell nothing; I did however say to him, it was probably his grandfather. It slipped out of my mouth. He sprayed his room and left his door open for a while. Nothing more was mentioned about the smell. The only thing we have noticed is my son's room is very cold all of a sudden. It just does not warm up.

I have started hearing tapping noises again in my bedroom and again my eyes shift to certain places in my bedroom as well as the living room.

What I want to know is why he is repeatedly entering my home.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Surya, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

butthead (guest)
14 years ago (2010-10-07)
wow... White buffalo, one of the best responses I have seen... About anything. *s*

I want to say great story but...

It is well written though.

signup (31 posts)
14 years ago (2010-02-15)
sorry I saw a post about forgiveness, please ignore my previeus pst please
signup (31 posts)
14 years ago (2010-02-15)
Maybe he keeps on coming back until you forgive him, I can't judge whether you should do that and juge your hellish life he had given you, but maybe he seeks forgiveness (sorry for my bad english)

He might be seeking forgiveness
Surya (39 stories) (867 posts)
14 years ago (2010-02-05)
Autumn my dear sister.

Firstly my apologies for not replying sooner. I just checked on my comments now. I have read every word and acknowledged it. What I will do however is email you from my personal email so we can discuss this better. What I will say is I don't know what I have done but after the last time I knew he was there, but the visits are less frequent.

The Sanskrit site is back up sis, so we can always discuss on there as well.
"In thee my soul shall own combined the sister and the friend"
whitebuffalo (guest)
14 years ago (2010-01-23)
Hello, Sister.
I have been trying to e-mail you, but have been sent back several for an "unknown domain". Any idea what could be going on there?

You know what? I have got to be honest, the description of the metallic smell got me really curious and I went in and started looking things up (you know me), and really, the only thing I could find were purely living ailments that cause such a perception. That left me searching my mind for things previously shared on how this... Man... Passed.
What WAS his physical condition, again?
You KNOW that we have a similar "demon" in our past (I choose that word only as to the despicable acts OF these persons), and that they are rather similar. Too much so, at some points.
Forget about HIS relationship with you at this point. We both know that forgiveness, while it MAY be rather healing for the human soul (which, I gotta say, seems to be true) forgiveness of these ACTS is simply unthinkable.
There is no justice, there are no excusable reasons, there is no PARDON for the activities OF these persons.
In our minds.
The monkey wrench in this whole situation (believe me, I struggle with it, too) is the lack of control as it comes to a relationship with your children, especially your one son.
I am really trying to find the right words so as not to confuse, or make this sound as if I am being demeaning. I really am not. I am speaking straight out of my own personal past.
On the death of MY said demon (*), you know that I had certain responsibilities as no one else would pick up the shroud. I was livid that his own "daughters" (he had convinced them through repetitive lies that this were so) would do nothing for the preparation. I was ticked that the family faded off into the distance as I was "forced" (honestly, I probably COULD have refused, but then, he would not have been prepared for interment and inhumation, and I REALLY wanted this man gone in the worst possible way) to assume the responsibilities.
Long, drawn out story short; I have not, I can not, I more than likely WILL not forgive ANY of the personal affronts of this man. Not a single damn one.
However; (and this is where it gets exceptionally difficult) I KNOW that I can not control the effects of his relationships with my children.
I find this deplorable.
I want to snatch up every bit of "him" (personal effects, thought patterns I hear played out by the children, favorite sayings of his etc, his "legacy", if you will) and hurl them as hard as I can and as far as I can into the depths of what is commonly known as hell.
And you know me, anger is not something that usually is in my nature, I am often WAY too forgiving.
IN that I have no control of that, I ALSO have no control over his "visits". I have banned him from physical touch (as for something I did during his preparation), but I can not stop him walking through that wall and up into the children's room if he so desires at this point in time.
You know what I found out though? And this came quite by accident. I have amazing powers when it COMES to my children. It seems if I get angry enough, I can almost make sparks fly from my fingertips as I angrily (if I am angry ENOUGH) thrust my arm out and POINT something AWAY from them. This, of course, is not to be taken literally. It IS figuratively written. BUT my anger towards something that has come to harm my "cubs" grants me superhuman strength.
That got me thinking.
IF I can cause things to happen (again, you know me, five foot naught and 105 lbs) that physically I should not be able to, by the laws of physics, JUST by my ANGER...
WHAT can I do if I replace that emotion with something akin to love?
NOT love, mind you... But akin to it. I honestly can not see that I will EVER harbour a "love" for this MAN. But for his SOUL?
I can do THAT.
Again, this is where the difference in backgrounds steps up to the forefront, though.
I believe that the human soul always was, and that it simply recycles itself after each life lived as a human. I believe that there was an energy that formed into a life force for the first time eons ago, and THAT energy is ME. I have gone through some modifications (probably THOUSANDS), tweaks, changes, LESSONS, to get to where I am now.
With THAT being said, just ONE of this persons lives was so fudged up that he acted as he did towards me, and everyone else, for that matter.
So to forgive that ONE "little" instance (Put it in perspective. His existence THAT time around was so "inconsequential" that it means nothing. It is but one single grain of sand on a beach surrounding an island of massive size), when looking at the whole big scheme of things in this vast universe of ours... Seems rather minuscule. Does it not?
And yet it was the hardest thing for me to do.
Now, I am NOT saying that our lives are inconsequential. You know that I believe each and every existence is just as important as the last, or next. I am saying, that for your own personal mental health, perhaps it would be easier to equate it as such, to remind you that he was just (pause for emphasis) one (pause) little (pause) man.
That's it.
Nothing more.
Right now, Hun, he has got the power OVER you. He has you still as a victim. You are NOT a victim any longer.
YOU, Sister, are a survivor.
I apologise for posting this straight to your quest for assistance. I wished to e-mail it to you, but as I said at start, I have done something wrong in your address, I think.
Bonded through life,
Surya (39 stories) (867 posts)
14 years ago (2010-01-07)
greenpondmike, I respect what you are saying about forgiveness, but serioulsy I find it very difficult to fogive this man. Believe me when I say if I ever did forgive him I would not be rid of him. Trust me on this one, he evens haunts my youngest son. See even if I was given the chance to forgive him I don't think I could wholeheartedly, I still see and feel what he did. I know what he wants and he knows he will never get.

Surya (39 stories) (867 posts)
14 years ago (2010-01-07)
helper94, thank you for reading and commenting on my story. Funny enough past week I have been unable to sleep. I have been having very strange dreams, and awake from them around 1.30 in the morning, the noises start as soon as I am lying in bed. Particlar corners. The cold spots is in the living room although I have felt the gush of a cold breeze when lying in my bed.
greenpondmike (1 stories) (82 posts)
14 years ago (2010-01-07)
Surya, I have a lot of respect for you, but I'm going to have to disagree with you on the subject of unforgiveness. If you don't forgive him, the unforgiveness has control over you. If you don't forgive him, he has won. He doesn't have to do anything to hurt you--you do that. All he has to do is show up every now and then to stoke the fire that is already burning. It is actually drawing him to you, not keeping him away. Please, for your own sake forgive. Also forgiveness is like an onion, it has layers. Just go one layer at a time until you get to the core. Goodness, it seems strange giving you advice, but I just want to help. Hope everything works out for you and GOD Bless.
helper94 (3 posts)
14 years ago (2010-01-06)
ok this is a normal ghost haunting. I have a bad feeling about what you have said.
They all start off with foul smells then they start to become more strong and start to leave cold spots around the house and now the knocking.
It is becoming stronger it is trying to scare you because you become scared it grows stronger.
I also don't think it is your farther in-law but this thing it wants you to think that it is.
Have you woken up to weird sounds at night around the time 1:00 am to 5:00 am?
This is the time they are most active things may also start to move by them self or just vanish and not be seen for a week or so then be put back in the last place it was.
Comment back if there is anything you want to know I also may have a few more things to say but I will let you read over this first.
Surya (39 stories) (867 posts)
14 years ago (2010-01-06)
aussiedaz - he was close to my youngest son and probably still is. Respect for me well you got that right, he serioulsy had no respect for me only thought about himself.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

Surya (39 stories) (867 posts)
14 years ago (2010-01-06)
Trudy44, this is a tricky one, I can forgive him and all will be ok, and he will freely walk into my home and heaven knows what he could do. Unfortunately for him I cannot at this present time forgive him which I know keeps him from me. As it is me he is trying to get close to.

Surya (39 stories) (867 posts)
14 years ago (2010-01-06)
ShahidAmrita, thank you for reading my story and your comment. Unfortunately there is more than anger where my ex-in-law is concerned. One of his entery points is through my youngest son. There is a story on here about my son. I said what I said from my heart, unfrotunately I cannot talk about what I endured at the hands of this man. He was a Brahmin Priest which adds to injury.

aussiedaz (19 stories) (1565 posts)
14 years ago (2010-01-06)
Hello surya, Thank you for your story and insight. Sounds like he wants to keep a connection with his grandchildren and has no regard or respect to your thoughts or feelings. The tapping noise suggest his trying to communicate, The smell however could be intentional and based on what you said he doesn't deserve the time of day. Good luck, take care,

Trudy44 (60 posts)
14 years ago (2010-01-05)
Maybe you have to forgive him. Forgiveness is very powerful. Forgiveness can heal the forgiver more then the forgiven.
ShahidAmrita (2 posts)
14 years ago (2010-01-05)
Hi surya, I have created an account to post you a message, well first of all I have read most of your experience and your the only one on this website that really makes my scary I can't sleep at night when I think about your stories. Maybe all those haunting that you had are probably because of your Father-in-law. Maybe you should talk to a Hindu Brahman priest maybe he would know what to do to help you. I understand how though it must be for you, don't worry I'm also an Indian. Maybe the reason why your Father-in-law keeps coming back it's because what you said to him when you left the house for good. In my point of view your father-in law in still angry at you that's why he's trying to hurt you or your sons. It's obvious. Make sure that you blessed you not your house. He's trying to haunt you. Well I don't know much about this. But I'm not an expert also. Maybe you should try to contact him if you wish. But I'm telling you to be careful. He may hurt you or your sons. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I love how you explain in details, so I can imagine myself. But if you don't do anything sooner or later maybe it'll only get worsen.

bigC (4 stories) (80 posts)
14 years ago (2010-01-05)
He might be in your house I doubt if he leaves those you are cruel in life rarly change in death. You could try getting the place blest if you're into that it could work.

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