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It's Not Your Fault


This story is not fully about me. It more involves my boyfriend but I will be telling the story.

About 5 years ago to this February my boyfriend's best friend Kevin was murdered at a party. The story takes place in New York. Kevin asked my boyfriend if he would like to go to a party that night at a friend's house but he wasn't feeling that well and decided not to go. Kevin went anyway and when the party started getting big they started to call it a night. Kevin was helping his friend get people out of the house. One boy would not leave without a fight. As Kevin escorted the boy out the boy had ran him over with his car and dragged him half a block killing him.

My boyfriend believes since he wasn't at this party that it was his fault his friend was killed. He knew Kevin wouldn't have gotten into the fight with the boy if he was there because Kevin thought of my boyfriend as a brother.

It's almost been five years and my boyfriend has not let it go yet. I have tried and tied and talked and talked to him about Kevin but he just can't shake the feeling of it being his fault. One night it got bad to the point where I was sick of it. I started praying out loud in my bed for Kevin to go to my boyfriend and tell him it wasn't his fault.

Now remember I DID NOT tell my boyfriend I did this. The next day I was talking to my boyfriend and he started telling me about this dream he had had. He said, "I was at work standing outside having a quick smoke when Kevin just walked right up to me. I started freaking out saying you're suppose to be dead." I didn't think anything of it until he said, "Then Kevin said to me in the most serious way 'IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT'"

I was happy, excited, and a little freaked out by it all at the same time. My boyfriend thanked me over and over again. I was glad to finally help.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Nightgoddess, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Nor_Cal_Girl (3 stories) (97 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-09)
That's so terrible about what happened to his friend, I can believe that people can be so awful to eachother. I'm happy to hear that everything was resolved though, great story!
rstahley (3 stories) (102 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-08)
I am so glad that you shared your story with us. It was sad, yet peaceful in the end. What happened to the guy who killed him. I hope they caught him.
KelleVamp (10 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-07)
Very sad, and the guilt is never good to live with. I'm so sorry that happened to all of you.
deltanova (1 stories) (10 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-06)
It's good your boyfriend could let go. Guilt is not good to live with. Sad story!
DeviousAngel (11 stories) (1910 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-05)
I'm glad your boyfriend was finally able to let go of his sense of responsibility in the whole thing. It really wasn't his fault after all. Perhaps your good wishes for him helped the process along.

dreamergal72 (6 stories) (793 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-04)
Yep Dreams can help sometimes and Give message to the living. From a love one like my father I dream about him sometimes evening though I sence him by smell his smoke.
TygerDall (2 stories) (29 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-04)
What a sweet happening! Your boyfriend is finally at peace with what happened! How beautiful that you helped! ❤
wickedsunny2009 (4 stories) (42 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-04)
Yeah It's a good story I know my father always comes to my dreams & I feel like he is always there for me now although I never had a very smooth relationship with my dad, maybe that's y he comes to me in my dreams
thygreatspirit (1 stories) (7 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-04)
Wow, that is rare.
Yes, dreams can sometimes bring messages from the dead to the alive.
Read The Winged Pharaoh by Joan Grant, it's a great book! The pharoah's daughter has to go into other people's dreams to help them or give them advice.
I am agnostic, I respect other people's beliefs. But from reading about you praying and then your boyfriend having that dream - that really has made me wonder. 😊
You seem to have a gift there!
Have a nice day,
pilarB (3 stories) (31 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-04)
Yes it's true, dreams are actually messengers from the spirit world...

My Dad always show up in my dreams and I remember it whenever I wake up.

That's a good experience story you shared to us. Thanks.
BYLUYSTER (11 stories) (78 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-04)
Dreams can be very powerful especially when people who we were close to try to help us deal with their death. I'm glad Kevin heard your prayers and came to your boyfriend. Maybe now he can find some peace and Kevin can move into the light. The bonds of friendship do not end because someone dies. I just lost my best friend in the world but I still feel her presence and wait for her to come to me in a dream.

God Bless, 😊
Tonith (1136 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-03)
After 5 years of everyone telling him it wasn't his fault I'm glad he got some confirmation in a dream. Some would say it's just a coincidence that the dream and the request to Kevin happened at the same time. I bet you wish you would have made the request years ago saving your boyfriend years of mental torment. But isn't that kind of mental torment of one's own volition? Who are we to think our presence or the lack of it will make or break something happening? Yet it happens all the time and people think they could have avoided it if they had been there. I'm glad Kevin chose to give that message in a dream being that it was going to have to come from the horse's mouth for your boyfriend to believe it. Unfortunately we are also narcissistic in thinking we control the outcome of anyone's life including our own.
PopLove (2 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-03)
Wow, at least you helped:)
But in a way its real freaky it just happens a day after...
Nightgoddess (14 stories) (54 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-03)
Thanks guys... He has moved on and it has made our relationship better! God bless all
hazzardsyndrome (10 stories) (121 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-03)
very sad story, your boyfriend is lucky to have you because the way I see it, your prayer must have had a lot of emotion and personal energy in it. Enough to spur the contact your boyfriend had in his dream.
I hope your man can find a bit of peace now and have his friends memory untarnished
Take care 😊
Missmelanie04 (6 stories) (39 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-03)
Wow. That is such a sad story. I'm sure your boyfriend carries a lot of guilt for that even though he shouldn't. I hope he's moved on now that he knows Kevin isn't mad at him. I would have been freaked out too if it happened to me.

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