I had mentioned in my previous post that I come from a religious family but I and my family are aware of other beings that may not be mentioned in the Book. I want to start off by saying I cast no judgment and I have absolutely zero negative feelings towards pagans, or witchcraft, Wicca, ect. I dabbled in the occult when I was in my teens a little bit and I acknowledge it is very real and not all evil. I am simply an agnostic and I am still searching for my truth I suppose.
In my last post I had mentioned a troubling dream I had involving an ex of mine (the one I have a restraining order on). When I was involved with him, I'll call him 'B', I was definitely not myself. B was an on and off again friend I had known for years but had never had any interest in him as a partner. Something had happened though; it was almost like a temporary insanity came over me. I hadn't seen B in over four years, he came to visit me (in my home) and I must say the years had not been kind to him... As awful as it may sound, I had a real repugnance for him as anything more than a friend. Oddly though, when I was in his home, I found myself drawn to him.
I'll give some background information on B, he did some hard drugs in his twenties and he has four kids (and can't hold down a job). He was from what I understood a devout pagan and could communicate with the dead. I am not a shallow girl in the sense that I judge a man by his looks, but I need intellectual stimulation in a partner. To be absolutely blunt, he had NOTHING to offer me or any confident and I am an intelligent woman. He was drinking buddy material and that's it!
I had stayed at his apartment along with a group of friends I knew from my hometown in Manchester and partied and caught up with everyone. Needless to say, I ended drinking a little too much and falling asleep. I woke up to B doing things to me that any decent man would ask permission to do first. Generally in that situation I would scream a strand of profanities and give my offender a good ax kick to the top of the head. It was like I was in a trance and I couldn't react or protest. This wasn't like sleep paralysis, I could move freely, but I didn't want to.
The rest of the time I was in Manchester, it was like I had completely shut down. This bastard was walking into the bathroom while I showered and I just felt like I couldn't do a thing about it.
Somehow B had me convinced we were in a relationship. At one point he told me he had to hear me say I loved him. I didn't love him at all, but I felt my mouth form the words without my permission. This madness went on for a month. What remained consistent was my repugnance for him whenever we where in Maine, and then being completely drawn to him when we were in NH. I felt completely detached, like I wasn't even control of my own body anymore. I drank heavily to disconnect even more.
One night there was a turn of events. B and I were up in the wee hours of the morning chain smoking and sharing a bottle of Jameson. I had mentioned B could supposedly communicate with the dead. We were in mid conversation when B's face went white and tears started spilling down his face. I asked what he saw (I could see nothing) and he mentioned a tall man with long black hair and a long black coat. At that moment, I felt like I was seeing things some what clearer.
Well, this strange entity that I could not see made more appearances. B called this being "Steve". Whenever B could supposedly see "Steve" he would tense up and cry like a little girl.
One particular night, I was trying to get as drunk as possible while B blabbed on about god-knows-what, when " Steve" came back. B started panicking and tried mouthing off to our guest. B then started gasping for air and his eyes were bulging out of his head. I looked at his neck and sure enough it was constricting as if an invisible hand was wrapped around it. I could tell B wasn't getting any air but I couldn't do anything about it. B then passed out! This ghost had choked him right out cold!
I snapped right back to my senses completely and couldn't believe where I was and who I was with. I went home the next day I told B whatever "thing" we had was over. I know this sounds like a case of dating a real loser and then regretting it, I assure you that is not the case. I cannot stress enough that every time I physically saw B on my 'turf' I was repulsed by him and I would tell myself that I would be sleeping in a separate room when I went to NH. It was only when I was on his 'turf' or when I couldn't physically see him (phone calls, emails) that I was drawn to him for reasons I couldn't explain