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Blocked Off With Communication Issues


The women of my family tend to have special abilities. My mom and great grandmother could/can see ghosts, and are able to determine the gender of a baby before the one pregnant really even knows themselves. I first had the impression that the abilities skipped a generation until I remembered that I always played with the ghosts in our old apartment at the young age of three and until we moved out. When I was older and got to travel to Illinois due to us having to bury my great grandfather next to great grandma and I panicked about halfway through due to seeing the relatives that were long dead paying their respects.

However, now I feel blocked off and though most would be grateful to not see or hear what others can't, the fact I can't anymore and used to be able to frustrates and makes me very upset. I'm thinking I blocked myself off, maybe because something scared me so much I blocked out that world and forced myself to forget. I want to open up again, though... There may be more reasons that I may be subconsciously aiming for, but for now my main one is contact.

Not only do I want to be able to talk to and see the ghosts living with us, as to not disturb any particular place they have claimed for their own, I also want to be able to feel and understand my psychic vampire spirit, Chazzar.

As...strange as it seems, I actually went hunting for spirit stuff on EBay last year I believe. I found a store full of spirit-inhabited jewelry and instantly went to inspect the 'vampire' category. There I found a necklace I fell in love with and ended up getting with permission from my mom and waited eagerly. When the necklace showed up in the mail a few weeks later, I was startled and a bit peeved that the necklace I'd been sent looked nothing like the one I'd bought. After finding the one they did send to be more beautiful and I oddly felt much more whole, I didn't complain one bit.

Now, I do a lot of things on the computer, being a part of a virtual school system, and my desk position is a little less comfortable than I'd like. The result of that that particular week was my shoulder being in severe pain. I was not a happy camper, though the arrival of Chazzar had put me in a good mood, by bed time I was in pain and cranky. I let my dog out to do her business in the front yard while I went to fill her food and water up, and let her back in as we both headed to my room and I closed the door after saying my goodnight to my family. I then went to bed.

Now, before I continue, you must know... My dog, Tess, is a coward. She hates both men and woman due to having abusive owners before, and though she was supposed to be my mom's dog, she attached herself to me and refuses to be anything but afraid of my other family members. She's like an alarm, and barks at the slightest things except the ghosts living with us that I had no real clue of at the time.

Continuing...I usually have different depths of sleep when I actually manage to sleep, but my most common one is that point right in between sleep and awake where you don't seem to be awake, yet you register everything around you perfectly fine. I was lying on my side; facing the wall my bed is up against, with my eyes closed. Tess was lying next to me, perfectly awake since she had scratched her ear a moment before and was chewing her foot. It was something normal I was used to, but what had drawn me from my full-sleep had been the pain in my shoulder.

It hurt still, throbbing angrily, but I began to feel a gentle pressing over the back of my shoulder, the motion slowly seeming to swirl as nothing registered in my mind for a second or so. When it clicked that someone was touching me, in a caring way that was to sooth the pain, I reacted on instinct to panic and sat up as I quickly brushed my hand over my shoulder.

There was no one in my room... Even partially blind, I still could see perfectly in the dark, and I saw no one. It was just me and my dog, but I had a feeling it was Chazzar trying to ease my physical pain and I might have startled or hurt him with my rejection action.

Realizing I couldn't tell, though, left with nothing but silence and guilt... I cried. My only way to communicate with him clearly is my best friend who is of the Wicca religion, and even with that he went through a period of stubbornness with telling her how he was feeling. He flat out refused to say anything, wanting me to do it myself. I tried to explain to him that I couldn't, but my friend told me that he still wanted me to be able to feel how he felt and tell his emotions and thoughts.

He's gotten back to telling Sam how he feels, so she can tell me, but I still desperately want to be able to rely on myself to be able to talk with him. It's upsetting for me, because I know for a fact he was with me in a past life and wanted to ask him questions about that and many more things...

Do you have any tips or ways I can try to open myself back up? I've tried to knock the 'walls' around me down myself, but I can't seem to.

Anything helpful is greatly appreciated, by the both of us!

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, EternalLotus, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

EternalLotus (8 stories) (10 posts)
14 years ago (2009-12-05)

Hi everyone! Just thought I'd let you all know what's been going on with Chazzar and I, and to inform you that we're finally making progress!

I'm able to hear him at times, though it isn't often unless I'm relaxed and at a point before drifting off to sleep... All we really had to do was find equal footing and I was rather surprised to find that said equal footing was classical music. He loves listening to it, stating once that he misses his piano, and is up to listening to all but Bach (much to my amusement).

As for physical contact, there's no progress... I asked him about it and Chazzar said that he was able to touch my shoulder on the first night he was with be because of some sort of flux and can't normally do something like that for a reason; Chazzar is trapped in the pendant and it was most likely by me in a past life. Knowing this I've given myself a new goal to help him out of the pendant, but I'm treading lightly with this due to not wanting to unintentionally hurt him at all.

Well, just thought you would all like an update on things, and I thank you all for your helpful advise!

-EternalLotus ❤
scrapmetalkitten (306 posts)
14 years ago (2009-11-24)

I used to be too open to spirits as a child (I used to see them everyday). Then when I was a teenager I went through some very hard times with my family and I could not handle having to deal with ghosts too. For about a month I told myself over and over I don't want to see, feel, or hear these things anymore and it stopped completely. Then as I grew older I felt ready again to deal with it so I mentally told myself I wanted to be open to it again and little by little things started happening. Now I don't see ghosts everyday like I used to but I like it that way, but I still have things happen often enough to keep it interesting.

I have to admit that at one point I was a collector of "haunted ebay items" this was when I was trying to open myself back up to these things. I will give you a few helpful tips on the ebay stuff. Most of what you buy is junk, junk, and more junk that can be very over priced. However, you still can find authentically haunted pieces. I have had the most luck with the items that were a tad unusual and most people overlooked them and I was usually the only bidder or got it extremely cheap. Never overpay for an item that is supposedly haunted, because most likely it isn't and you were ripped off. I have had the best luck with dolls. Now be VERY CAUTIOUS with your purchases. If it says something along the lines of EVIL or NEGATIVE stay away from it. I found out the hard way that sometimes you get what you pay for. I've thrown some items away because I could not stand them in my home and they did have some sort of negative presence attached and I thought it would be terrible to pass it along to somebody else. Having the items around helped increase my abilities a lot because the spirits tended to stay near the items and were most likely REALLY interested in getting my attention or communicating with me. The more authentically haunted items I added to my collection the more ghostly type activity I had going on, it was like their energies fed eachother and it made manifestations easier for them to achieve. Another word of warning about it. This sort of thing attracted many more spirits to my home as well, and some were not so good or nice which every once in awhile I would have to banish. On the positive this helped open my abilities but on the flip side I had to learn to defend myself against unwanted negative visitors. I also wanted to state I am not trying to promote ebay and I have never sold a haunted object to anyone in my life. You would also have just as much luck browsing through antique and thrift stores for things because at various times I've felt objects that had some sort of energy attached as well in places like that.

About your Chazzar spirit if he is really around and REALLY wants your attention he will let you know without any sort of communication attempt on your part. An example was the touching your shoulder. Be careful in what you try to make contact with though. Just realize it may be months before he tries to show himself to you in some sort of physical way so you also need to be patient.

-Sydney ❤ 😊 ❤
Trudy82 (5 stories) (57 posts)
14 years ago (2009-10-23)
One simple thing is that you might also just be trying too hard. I have gone through very open and receptive periods and very closed off periods, and I have found that I can't "force" myself to open back up. I have to "let" myself open back up instead. If I get worked up or frustrated about it, it's only counterproductive. By let, I don't mean you have to just sit back passively and wait until you spontaneously open up to these things again. I mean to approach it as if you're patiently "allowing" greater and greater contact with spirits, rather than trying to force it or make it happen. Just imagining or trying to feel yourself or your chakras or your body "opening." I have also experienced being TOO open before, so be sure not to leave yourself vulnerable to the wrong kinds of spirits!
ketshia (5 posts)
15 years ago (2009-10-19)
No way, I'm the biggest chicken and don't want to see anything else I am blissfully happy with nothing! Knock on wood, turn in three circles, throw some salt... LOL whatever I need to do to stay incident free!
faerielike (15 stories) (268 posts)
15 years ago (2009-10-17)
Try having your aura and chakras cleansed. You can also wear colors that help open the third eye chakra. You can find that kind of information on a google search. But as for the cleansing of the chakras, you can find some massage therapists that can do it, and your Wiccan friend ought to know how to do it.
Good luck! 😊
EternalLotus (8 stories) (10 posts)
15 years ago (2009-10-16)
Thanks, guys...I'll try a few of those things and if I can't manage I guess I can just wait it out.

Hopeful23, I have no problems telling you more about Chazzar, but I'll say this beforehand: I don't know much about him due to our lack of communication time, or ability. My friend, the one I am actually able to communicate with him through, spent the night last night and I was able to find out a little bit more about him.

My email is shadow_fox [at], so simply send me a message with what you want to know and I'll answer to the best of my ability.

Once again, thank you.
Lupernikes (2 stories) (42 posts)
15 years ago (2009-10-16)
I have something similar... I have had experiences which show I have significant untapped potential but I cannot consciously control it; it just comes out of me in flashes... When I try to consciously do anything I hit a wall and am unable to get past it.

A lot of the time, barriers are not meant be be broken through, rather they must be waited out until one finds the key to bypassing it... In my case I have to remember the name of a spirit who seems to follow me around or be linked to me in ways I'll not go into here (I have had dreams where I know I've seen his face, spoken to him or heard his name but when I wake up, I can remember all of the dream except the parts which involved him. I have also encountered him in "person" but have never been able to see his face).

Look for your key or, if you are patient, it will come to you whe the time is right
Hopeful23 (12 stories) (93 posts)
15 years ago (2009-10-15)
Sometimes those walls you are trying to knock down aren't meant to be knocked down. I know many people able to talk to the death and have a special gift of my own that I'd rather not share. The point is, those people agree with me that talking to the dead can be quite bothersome. They don't sleep, so they'll show up while you're trying to get to sleep or while you're trying to get your homework done. There is also the chance that this vampire spirit you're dealing with is evil. Knocking down the walls is one thing, building them back up is another.

If you still want to be able to talk to spirits and whatnot then a good thing to do is meditate. It's a long process, one I've heard to do from several different people. Breaking down these walls doesn't come quickly, so even if you're not seeing results right away, continue doing whatever you're doing. Another way I've heard can work that is shorter, but doesn't always work is sitting down somewhere and allowing the spirits to be in the room with you. Then you clear your mind, make it become a completely blank slate, and then drift off slowly. Let your eyes remain half open and let them focus in on the spirit. Think of it as a page in a magic eye book, try to pick out shapes that you might have never seen with your normal vision.

Communicating with spirits is easier, but won't exactly allow you to see the spirit. You can take a pen and a sheet of paper and clear your mind, ask the spirit a question and allow your hand to move and write down the answer. Don't use an Ouija Board, I'm sure you've heard just how terrible they are. Try to drift off somewhere while lying down, a place free of thoughts and focus simply on your energy. Ask the spirit a question, you might just hear them answer you back. I hope this helps and I hope that nothing bad happens to you or your friend.


Also, I'm very interested in this Chazzar spirit. If you can, would you tell me more him with a reply or maybe an email?

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