I don't really know how to describe what's been interacting with me for the past two nights now, or if it is an Incubus of some sort due to its behavior differing from accounts of others being attacked, which is why I decided to share with all of you and see if you could help me. I'm not scared or feeling threatened, but I am worried about what could happen if this entity really IS an Incubus...
I'm pretty confused and worked up right now though, so please forgive me if this seems like rambling. I swear on my life that this is true, though.
Before I get to how this... Thing is behaving when encountering me, I've been thinking on how a few aspects may be either contributing to what is going on or is simply coincidence.
First of all, I've just recently started to see and accept the fact that I appear to be empathetic to a certain level, along with my mother (who I seem to be most empathetic toward). Unfortunately, along with this realization came another that I may have been mentally unstable and needed help. Getting said help, I was tentatively diagnosed with depression and a bipolar disorder last year and have set on getting better.
Now, I explain this to help you understand my second 'might contribute' aspect. I'm a very shy and withdrawn individual when it comes to leaving my home, but was encouraged by my therapist to go out and socialize some more. I spent a weekend at my friend's sister's home in Tombstone at first to test the waters. Feeling good about my first little outing, I decided to do it again last week during my spring break; I stayed from Friday to Tuesday night. During my stay, I talked to my friend about getting into the Wiccan religion as we rearranged her new (and first) apartment. Being Wiccan herself, she highly recommended it given my personality and interest toward it and explained a few things that I was curious about (such as patron deities). When I got back home, things seemed perfectly fine... Or so I thought.
A part of the pendant housing the spirit of my stubborn little Psi Vamp Chazzar broke as I was giving him a goodnight kiss about three nights ago. Being just the part that helped it hang from the chain and not the stone itself, I wasn't TOO worried and simply had to change the suede chord to a thin piece of blue ribbon before crawling back into bed. Nothing other than that happened that night.
The next evening I found myself browsing a list of different Pagan deities and what they represented, a few names and aspects jumping out at me, but nothing out of the normal until I crawled into bed. I lay there for a few moments, trying to contact an animal spirit (though he would appear in a human form to me) that called himself Sangual, who I had turned to on and off for a couple of years for spiritual comfort. Whenever I was with him and in his presence, I would always get chills up my spine (a common thing I feel when something is around me) from what I always felt was sheer power. This time however, I felt nothing; I was just standing alone beside the lakeside in my mind.
It was crippling to me in a way, and I remember a sudden feeling of desperation washing over me right before I started calling out to him in my mind. I kept calling out his name, begging him to not leave and to come back, saying that I needed him. Still getting no response from an entity that had always been eager to cheer me up, I was close to tears when I opened my eyes once more. That's when it started.
I remember a similar, though much stronger chill shoot up my spine in such a violent way that my back immediately snapped up into and arch. Nothing was touching me at all, but my body began to go through the motions of what I can only describe as intercourse though I'm still a virgin. My body kept arching and squirming, hips jolting uncontrollably from slow paces, pausing before starting up again at a faster pace or simply going from slow to fast without any pause. All the while my breathing had become increasingly labored and I soon found myself tensed and holding my breath as if I had climaxed, though it felt more like I'd been teased right to the edge before this thing stopped in an attempt to leave me unfulfilled and frustrated. This happened twice on the first night, leaving me exhausted and drained enough for to fall asleep with ease after texting my friend about the incident. The only reply I got from her was that my spiritual partner was an ass, and we left it at that.
Then last night I was watching some show with my mom (well, she seemed more intent of falling asleep during it), when I felt a soft chill shoot up my spine right before my hips jerked; whatever it was, was happening to me again and I wasn't even alone this time.
I felt as if I was being teased again slowly, the image of a hand against my most private of places flashing in my mind though I wasn't actually being TOUCHED by anything. I tried to be nonchalant about things so my mother wouldn't notice anything, crossing my legs while stating in my mind that whatever it was couldn't do that sort of thing to me while I wasn't alone in my room. Things seemed to stop after that long enough for me to text my Wiccan friend about it again. She suggested that it sounded like an Incubus and I should burn some sage to get rid of it, to which I said I'd think about it if things continued to escalate before something at the back of my mind convinced me to allow a little teasing if kept to a minimum. Without even thinking, I had spread my legs and my hips began to jolt again every now and again, only not that noticeably.
I excused myself to the restroom once the show was over, where whatever this thing is decided that it didn't want to wait any longer. I was forced to lean over the back of the toilet as nearly all strength left me and my hips started jolting violently once more, as they had the night before. It took what little energy I had at the moment to keep from falling to the floor until it was done with me. Once again it didn't feel as if I had reached a climax, but for some unknown reason I allowed this thing to have its way with me once more when I was back in my room and alone. As before, my body reacted as if it was being pleasured though I felt nothing physically touching me other than my pajamas.
At some point during the end of this... Last round, something compelled me to tell the thing that it could stay as long as it behaved itself and didn't constantly harass me. I didn't seem to get a response as I got up and went to do some things on my computer once my body was allowed to calm down. I quickly noticed that my energy was draining as I tried to focus on what I was working on, and the thought of it being an Incubus entered my mind. I vaguely remember barely being able to say "stop draining/sucking my energy" aloud before something clicked and I found myself feeling perfectly fine and energized, albeit slightly tired as I continued with my work.
That is all that has happened so far these past two nights, though I'm getting the odd chill up the spine as I sit here and write this. I honestly don't know what to make of this thing though, and that scares me a little since I have no idea what I'm dealing with. If it is an Incubus, why hasn't it been forceful like in so many other accounts of Incubi attacks?
Could it simply be something I accidentally brought back with me from Tombstone, or even some kind of mischievous deity trying to get my attention and coax me into the religious transition I'm thinking of making? Any theories, and I mean ANY theories you have would be a huge help. I need to know what this is, and maybe if that question is answered then I'll know why it decided to stick to me.