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My Personal Demon


I already know that nobody is going to believe me but figured I would try this out and try to get some answers. When I was about 7yrs of age, I hit a depression and I figured I would try to turn to religion. I pray to God and said "God, I need to know if I'm actually needed in this world. If I am, send me a sign. If not, please forgive me since I will need to take my life." and I said it with all seriousness and certainty.

That night, I felt my bed shaking and it felt like punches coming up out of the bed. Since I was 7, I went and told my mom and dad. They told me it was just a dream so I went back. It continued for a week getting to the point where my bed would almost flip but apparently my parents never heard.

Since then I have this man that follows me around but only comes out of reflections in the dark. I'm a psych major in college and I have ruled out repressed memories and every logical path I could find. I have never seen his face and he has no eye colour. He has shoulder-length black hair and no beard. He changes clothes often. He doesn't seem bound by gravity and absolutely hates the light. Sometimes he hides in the shadows. This has caused me to be very paranoid since I have, as of the last 2 yr., been having blackouts.

I would just like to put a name on this thing and just wondering if someone here might have an idea. Oh, and another thing, I don't know if it's just me that sees him because he disappears when someone else comes. Also, there's no specified place that he appear It's just where I am, when it's dark, and if there's a big enough reflection surface for him to come out of.

I will try to get on every day to check but no rush. I have been handling him for 12yrs; I think I can wait until I get an answer. I hope to be hearing from you. Thanks

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, xedocodex, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

butthead (guest)
13 years ago (2011-02-09)
a classic comment from a familier is that it insists to its subject that " I do not want to hurt you "
Technically this is not really lying, rather bending the truth, as in many cases it wants you to hurt yourself, not do it for you... As the familier itself often cant. I think that is why it was attracted to you when you felt suicidal.
*shuts up*

Good luck;p
butthead (guest)
13 years ago (2011-02-09)
sorry to fill up your comments section:P

But it does sound like an absolute classical case of a familier (im probably going to spell that word 50% of the time wrong, for the rest of my life).
In many cases where one has been believed to be involved, the subject that it lingers around often has suicidal thoughts etc. In many cases the familier seems to slowly work itself into the life of such a person, until he or she feels like taking his/her own life is the only option left. And that is often in the cases I've read, exactly what it wants.
What for, I do not know... My gutt tells me that it is simply because (as many people have suggested in the past on this subject) it is basically working for satan, and hates all mankind, and wishes them all to die.

Another thought of which I've often wondered about, as I've read it so many times on this subject, yet could not possibly cast my vote as if to believe it or not... Is that suicide is against the wishes of god, and that it's possible the soul can be taken by satan, for such a person who takes his own life. That I have no idea about, but I've read it as a belief by some people, more than once.

Again just thoughts, but the fact you said you thought about suicide - and that's when this thing appeared, really does suggest it is a familier - working for the dark side.

Sorry I rabbit on... But I do personaly disagree that it will be easier to remove this thing, if you ask for its name. If anything, I believe it will make it more difficult.

markj7 (3 stories) (19 posts)
13 years ago (2011-02-09)
I agree with getting rid of this thing. Not to start a religous debate, I am going to state my opinion and please take it as some one who cares about people. Heavenly Father has a plan and us being here is part of that plan. We have specific things to do and trials to learn from. He knows, cares and loves each one of us. We are his children. Please ask him for help with this thing. I respect every ones decision to have what faith they choose or do not choose. Good luck.
butthead (guest)
13 years ago (2011-02-09)
your not nuts.
And I think you got the answer to it's intentions in your own words just now with the last comment you made...

That it "got a little mad" after you attempted to gain help from a priest.
This suggests that it is has no good intentions, I believe anyway.

I can't say it's wrong to not get it's name, or that it's wrong that by knowing its name it will be easier to remove.

I can say that I strongly believe from a million experiences that this reminds me of (which I've read about, not experienced, where often a familiar as jitow suggested, is involved) that by attempting to communicate with it, even if it's just to get it's name... It will be highly likely to enduce further attempts to get closer to you.
I cannot say this is true, yet I have heard it so many times and noticed it happen throughout experiences which I have read or heard about, that I believe there are rules that evil spirits have to abide by, and that is also stated in similar fashion here in this comments section below by jitow, that as she/he stated you have to make the first move, not it, in order for it to increase its attachment to you.

While asking for it's name is not actualy saying that you want its company, evil will bend any rule in any way it can, and sure as hell might cling on to any tiny bit of string you give it once it has succeeded in the first step of communicating with you. It will gain energy I think from just knowing that you are communicating with it, and it may well do all in it's power to trick you into allowing it deeper into your life from there on in.

I don't think that knowing its name outweighs the benefits of not communicating with it. For a priest that is different, as it is not trying to attach itself to the priest, and I believe that it also has to tell the truth to a true servent of god, such as a priest.
To you, it could lie about it's name, infact it will probably lie about everything in an attempt to gain your trust/belief that it means no harm to you.

Just my thoughts, I will wish you good luck and beunas noches.

xedocodex (1 stories) (1 posts)
13 years ago (2011-02-09)
Hey, thanks for the comments. About being 7yrs old and asking, I have always (even at 7yrs) thought logically. I see the evil in the world and figured I only had one way out but my family is very religious. I have seen a psychologist and he claims it to be a figment of my imagination and that it would go away. I have also been ruled out as a depression patient. I have had a priest come and try to get rid of the "whatever he is" but he never went away and got a little mad. Blackouts run in the family so I don't know if its genetics or paranormal. I have apparently never done anything bad during the blackouts though. Lastly, I have attempted communication because I was told its easier to get rid of a spirit if you know its name. I have tried to summon him, talk to him, and research to see what he was. He comes when he wants to and never talks to me. I tried once to confront him instead of running and well let's just say that I still have nightmares about the night. I don't really know how to explain what happened. I would say that it was like I was stabbed by multiple objects at the same time but since I have never felt anything like that, that wouldn't be a fair explanation. Like I said, thanks for the comments and the advice. Its just nice to share this with someone and not have them think I'm nutts.
butthead (guest)
13 years ago (2011-02-08)
jitow and serenity are spot on, in my opinion. Saved me from writing the usual essay. Goodluck with that thing, and as jitow sais - do NOT try to communicate with it, that is a form of acceptance to it being a part of your life and in many cases can make it much more difficult to remove, just as jitow kindly pointed out.
From what I've read familier's are drawn to negativity or/and people with suicidal thoughts, and what you describe sounds exactly like such a thing.

Jitow (362 posts)
13 years ago (2011-02-08)
It really sounds like a "familiar", not a familiar spirit, just a familiar. It is a low level entity that does not have the power for a full on attack. The key here is that since it is still keeping its distance after all those years, you have obviously not tried to talked to it much or communicate with it. God has certain rules that these things have to abide by and one of thise rules is that you have to make the first move. It shows up hanging around for years, whether you see it or not, learning your habits, likes and dislikes, mannerisms, etc. Whatever you do, do not try to establish communication with it. Make the first serious move and it will be hard to get rid of. It is a wonder that it has not tried to save your life or do something else to engraciate itself to you. If you want to get rid of it, say Jesus rebuke you! Out loud and "the blood of Christ rebuke you". It will leave and may stay gone for a while but you will have to do this a couple of times for it to get the point.
professorfrink (1 stories) (9 posts)
13 years ago (2011-02-08)
hey friend great story thanks for sharing, in my opinion the entity can tell that you have a sort of weakness towards letting 'spirits' influence your life, and seeing how suicide and eternal death are pretty closely related this thing whatever it is saw the opportunity and hasn't given up on you since. I'm pretty sure the 'spirits' can read our thoughts so my suggestion to you friend, is rebuke all satanic/harmful/evil spirits by the blood of Jesus Christ go around all the rooms in your house stern and full of faith and confidence in the holy spirit and proclaim to rebuke the entity and send it to its resting place. I'm not sure if this works but I've done it and I definitely think there's a difference in the atmosphere, it's more relaxed and before I would feel sort of uncomfortable and now it's the opposite. Even at night I am feeling more calm, but as for this thing, it can sense your thoughts and feelings and it knows what your thinking and how you feel so in order to progress in eliminating this thing you must from the depths of your inner core embrace the love of god with all of your being and pretty much give your life to him, which I think means doing things to glorify him and not the works of the flesh, he knows when you are true hearted towards living the life he provided for you and he will send his warring angels to protect and guide you when you ask him definitely have no fear towards this entity and send it back to where it belongs, hope this could help
ClaudiaLove (1 stories) (14 posts)
13 years ago (2011-02-08)
Wow everyone on this site has been going through the exact same things as me. Ever since I was about 8 or 9 and still to this day every so often when I try to go to sleep and lay down in my bed, I feel punching or vibrating. It feels like someone from underneath my bed is just punching their clenched fists into my mattress. Sometimes it is very light and sometimes it is more forceful. I'll also occasionally feel my bed vibrating or shaking slightly, but only when I'm trying to go to bed and only when I'm by myself.
redphx (4 stories) (827 posts)
13 years ago (2011-02-08)
What the hell happened to you at 7 years old that would make you think like that? I've had friends who were abused physically, sexually, and mentally and at 7 years old they never thought such things as taking their own life or asking God to prove they need to exist. God is not a genie. Anyway...

Sometimes when people speak about things the way you did it causes entities to gravitate towards you. I don't think it's because you asked for a sign I think it's because you were giving out bad energy. Like attracks like. My father suffered from PTSD from Vietnam and he drank and the house I grew up in was filled with lower level entities, portal and all. Tell the man to go away. If he came to you in a time where you were depressed or uncertain he probably isn't the best thing to keep around.

I am at the point know where I am telling people this. If you have an entitiy attached to you and YOU don't want it make it go away. If YOU like its company then by all means it is not up to anyone to say you can't have it around. No matter what anyone says or does you are going to be the one to have the last say. We can tell you that it is not good for you or that it will eventually cause more pain but if you can't separate then it will never leave you alone no matter what anyone says or does.
scrapmetalkitten (306 posts)
13 years ago (2011-02-08)
hmm... I would revoke what you intially said as a child. It sounds like this kind of invited something nasty into your life. I agree about seeking professional help as well. When you say reflective surfaces, I assume you are talking about things like mirrors, and windows. I have on occasion seen people standing behind me in mirrors only to have them disappear, same with windows. I hope you find the help you are looking for.

❤ ❤ ❤
Serenity (1 stories) (35 posts)
13 years ago (2011-02-08)
Hi. First off, see a doctor about your blackouts - if only to rule out any medical issues. Depression at 7 years of age is not normal at all, so there may be some underlying thing going on. I know you've ruled out various things yourself through your studies, but it's probably best to get a professional opinion - have you been prone to depression since then?

The entity seems to me to be something that latched on to your feelings of depression and stuck around. The bed thing sounds like it was intended to frighten you, further pointing to an entity that thrives off negative emotion. Since then this nasty chap has been stepping it up, keeping you aware of him and feeding off your fears and doubts. Your paranoia is like chocolate to him. The blackouts could be a sign of possession, as people who believe they have been possessed commonly report memory loss and blackouts. Please rule out any medical issues before running with the possession theory though.

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