I am one of the unlucky people whom experiences sleep paralysis (sp) on an occasional basis. I have learned to avoid naps as they tend to trigger an episode. As of lately, I have been thinking upon certain experiences and I wonder if this is even sp at all, or is it some other sleep disorder, or more? Please help because my most recent episode is making me feel insane.
About a month ago I was dead asleep in the earlier morning (some time between 7-730) and awoke with a start- someone, a man, was standing next to my bed looking in my nightstand drawer. He looked at me and then he kissed me lightly on the lips. My initial reaction was it was my fiance kissing me goodbye before leaving for work. I WAS still basically asleep and it all happened so quickly that by the time I registered the situation, I realized I did not know him and I could not move (before that point I hadn't realized my inability to be mobile). He was older, tan skin, dark eyes...I'd say of Mexican or Native American background. He walked away slowly, in no rush, when he reached the foot of the bed- directly in my line of vision- I was able to get up into a half-sitting up position (easy as sitting up in quicksand) and I yelled/slurred/gurgled at him "what the **** are you doing?!"
All he did was look at me and continue slowly to my front door.
By now, I'm pissed, I'm disgusted that he kissed me (though it felt like a departure?) And my little boy and I are home alone; so I manage to get up to try and chase this person, but it was hard. SO HARD to move, and foggy, the only way I can describe it is like my entire body buried in quicksand, and I'm walking through it with fogged up goggles. I held onto the bed frame, the walls and the door frame to pull myself to the front door where the person seemingly exited without actually opening it. I locked the front door deadbolt (which is left unlocked most days because the Mr. Lost his keys), looked at the clock on my phone (which I clearly recall being sometime at 7am, meaning my fiance was already AT work, therefore... Who the F was in my room?!) and woke up again in bed about an hour later.
I am absolutely positive SOMETHING happened because, upon my actual awakening, I immediately checked the deadbolt to verify the reality of what happened. I had indeed locked it while in a state of sleep-limbo, chasing an intruder who wasn't really real? This experience was so disturbing and vivid that I am still on edge over it. I do not feel this was a real live human being who broke into my house. I have never experienced an sp episode with hallucinations. I mostly experience feeling the presence of something "bad/evil"...only, I am usually able to struggle and move and speak somewhat in the quicksand state; so technically, I'm not paralyzed at all... Just mobilely-challanged? Lol.
I don't like to admit this, but I am scared. One particular dream frightens me the most because in it, I recall walking down the hall and into the living room in the quicksand state I am prone to. (This is the dream) once in the living room, I sat on the couch, the Tv turned on to static. A horrific voice spewed out of the speakers, telling me horrible things- evil, hateful things against humanity... I could only sit there and listen. To my left, I saw the shadow man. Taller than a normal man, he held another human figure up to the ceiling by its neck, toying with it. I hid, behind my tv, and though it paid me no physical attention, it knew I was there. As I watched in my hiding spot, it spoke to me again. It said more horrible things. It told me how it hates and it will destroy. Anything it can. Anything innocent... I have never felt so much fear in my life; it was like I was on fire from the inside out, I was so afraid. I woke up literally burning with the same fear as in the dream. It upset me for days it was so real.
I guess what worries me foremost is the quicksand walk into the living room I had in the "dream". I am now starting to wonder if I actually DID end up on my couch for a portion of the time (not to mention, whatever negative thing that was in the dream, lurks in my dreams/dreamland every so often). Is this sleep walking? I had them as a young child, but... Night terrors at 24 years old? This can't be normal. Am I slowly losing it?