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The Time I Died Twice

 

My liver had been deteriorating for many years and I was eventually informed by my specialist that I would need a new liver. I was briefed by "the transplant team", on all facets of the procedure, including the typical waiting time, false starts, the eight-hour operation and lengthy recovery.

Early on a July morning in 2017, Jubeele received the call for us to make our way to the hospital. We were informed not to "get our hopes up" as the donor organ might be unsuitable for transplant. But to my surprise, it was not long before I was saying goodbye to Jubeele and they wheeled me into the operating theater.

After many weird dreams, I woke up to the smiling faces of Jubeele and the medical staff. Why were they all smiling? Well, it was now two weeks after the operation during which I had developed a high fever that they could not explain or treat. Over the following weeks, I was told by Jubeele and the intensive care nurses of all the crazy things that I said and tried to do during that initial fortnight. Honestly, if I had a clipboard and notepad, I could have "ticked off" each weird dream I had, with what they were recounting.

All except the first dream, which had been very vivid and left a lasting impression on me. This dream or rather experience was different, particularly after the surgeon told me that I had in fact died twice during the operation and to "take things easy" during my recovery. I had heard of the term "Near Death Experience" (NDE) but it has only been during the last nine months that I have learned more about this subject.

This is what I recall.

I was being transported on a bed or gurney through white French Doors into a large room. The light filtering into the room had an orange tinge, like there was a dust storm outside. Behind me, I could hear Jubeele pleading with somebody that I needed help.

This person kept repeating that "I should not be here, and I must leave". The male voice was familiar to me. The message was delivered in a calm, controlled and neutral tone.

I realized that I had stopped moving. There were no bumps or sounds, just the conversation behind me, with Jubeele's tone getting more frantic.

I was now getting annoyed, so I tried to get off the bed to turn around and "eyeball" this person. But I couldn't move my legs. I looked down and realized I had a huge hole in my right-hand side, just under the ribs. There was no blood or pain.

I looked around and saw that the room was filled with other injured people on stretchers, gurneys and beds all looking down at themselves with blank looks on their faces. It looked something like the triage in M*A*S*H but with nobody looking after them; no blood, no dressings, no sound and everyone bathed in the orange light.

The scene struck me as being like a waiting room or airport departure lounge. Suddenly, I had this urge to leave this place. I tried to call Jubeele, but no words came out.

A warm feeling came over me and the room faded away, leaving only the orange light. I did not remember any more...

I can accept this episode as a delirious dream, just as easily as I can look on it as a Near Death Experience. The difference is that a dream can be laughed off and fade away with time. This experience has been so profound that it continues to come back and disturb me with questions.

* Who was the person that was talking to Jubeele and why did he sound so familiar?

* What was the nature of the warm feeling and was it related to me leaving this place or ending the dream?

Strange, but I have experienced this warm feeling before. It was over twenty years ago when I was told that my eldest brother had succumbed to liver cancer and passed away. At that moment, I could feel myself falling to pieces but then felt a warm, calming glow envelop me, along with the knowledge that he was released from a world of pain and in a better place.

In the wash-up, was "big brother" or a guardian looking after me (again) or was this all a dream?

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Comments about this paranormal experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Rex-T, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Rex-T (5 stories) (260 posts)
+2
12 months ago (2018-12-24)
One of the things I love about living on the east coast of Australia is that we're destined to be one of the first countries in the world to have the sun rise on Christmas Day.

Whether you follow the concept of Christmas or not, I hope you all have a wonderful and peaceful day with your loved ones that are here and the ones that have moved on. You are never alone.

Jubeele and Rex Dundee
Melda (9 stories) (1143 posts)
+1
1 year ago (2018-12-12)
Rex-T - You're worth every word of well-being and prayers which were sent your way. You're still on my list ❤

Regards, Melda
Sleeping-with-steve (8 stories) (390 posts)
+1
1 year ago (2018-12-12)
Hello Rex-T,

Good to see you back.

I hope you're well. Jubeele kept all of us posted on your well being. I have to say I'm really glad your better.

Look after yourself and take it slow.

Best wishes,

Miandra
😘 ❤ 😘
Rex-T (5 stories) (260 posts)
+2
1 year ago (2018-12-12)
Thank you fence_sitter for another (fascinating) perspective on my experience.

Many years ago, I enjoyed discussing the concept of Samsara with a work colleague, who was a practicing Buddhist from Sri Lanka. I found the different realms both strange and, somehow, familiar at the same time. When I joined the YGS site, I could see how some of these realms (for example: The Hungry Ghost Realm) could manifest themselves into peoples' accounts.

Back then, I knew nothing about NDE's, and I would not have expected to look at my experience from my friend's perspective.

I think your "two cents worth" is a lot more valuable and (once again) I thank you for your input.

Regards
Rex-T
lady-glow (12 stories) (2479 posts)
+1
1 year ago (2018-12-11)
Rex-D & Jubeele.
What wonderful news!

Those sharp, pointy teeth sure look nice when you smile. 😁

Sending you both a humongous hug. ❤ ❤
fence_sitter (4 stories) (26 posts)
+3
1 year ago (2018-12-11)
Hi Rex-T,

Based on your description of the bright orange light accompanied by this calm feeling --- I am suspecting that you have possibly experienced what Buddhists call a "Jannah" moment. If this is true, you are very fortunate since this is one of the phenomena that sentient beings experience when they are nearing enlightenment --- Buddhists usually attain this state after accomplishing long periods of breath meditation. Some Buddhists even describe this experience as a preview of what is going to happen immediately after dying, the transition that happens before experiencing rebirth in the cycle of life (Samsara). Just my two cents worth. Peace.

Regards,

Fence_sitter
Haven (16 stories) (266 posts)
+2
1 year ago (2018-12-11)
Ya! That's great news, I'm so happy for you, Rex-T and Jubeele! ❤
msforgetmenott (17 stories) (316 posts)
+2
1 year ago (2018-12-11)
Yeah! Rex-T is home, Jubeele got an early Christmas present, I have prayed for you both. Still sending many well wishes.

My best,
Jan
Rex-T (5 stories) (260 posts)
+4
1 year ago (2018-12-11)
Just like to personally thank you all for your well wishes and prayers.

While catching a "super bug" is a scary proposition, it is heartening to experience all the support from family (you guys) and strangers (medical teams) who have combined to help me win the battle.

Apart from glowing in the dark, there were no paranormal experiences this time, so I'd better jump off the soap box.

Thanks again
Cuddle Rex Dundeesaurus 😉
Jubeele (19 stories) (793 posts)
+3
1 year ago (2018-12-11)
Hi Melda, Haven, Dee, Miandra, Jan, lady-glow and everyone who kept us going,

Rex-T is finally back home! The first thing he wanted was real food - which was a positive sign. Lol. 😆

Words aren't enough to say what I feel. Your various messages of support, prayers and healing thoughts were comforting and helped us so much. We feel really blessed to be part of this wonderful YGS family. ❤

Warmest regards

Jubeele & Rex-T
CuriousDee (8 stories) (630 posts)
+2
1 year ago (2018-12-06)
Jubeele,

I'm sorry I've been MIA lately (issues with kids, school and holiday season), but please know I'm sending you and Rex lots of love and prayers. Hopefully, he recovers lickety split. Thank you for keeping us updated.

❤❤ Dee
Haven (16 stories) (266 posts)
+2
1 year ago (2018-12-05)
Jubeele and Rex-T - Sending a ton of good vibes and prayers your way.

Best wishes - Haven ❤ ❤ ❤
Melda (9 stories) (1143 posts)
+3
1 year ago (2018-12-05)
Jubeele - You know that both of you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. The fact that we live in different countries doesn't change that.

I'm truly happy that YGS members have also been there to support you.

Regards, Melda
Jubeele (19 stories) (793 posts)
+5
1 year ago (2018-12-05)
Hi Melda, lady-glow, Jan, Miandra and our wonderful YGS family,

Rex-T's condition is being kept stable by antibiotics but the infection is persistent. The doctors are keeping him in hospital to run a full-body scan. He's got a whole team of specialists helping him and I know he's getting the best possible care. We don't know when he'd finally be home. But I pray it will be soon, hopefully by Christmas.

I've told him that he's been given so many "hugs" that he should be called Cuddle Rex Dundeesaurous. It made him roll his eyes. 🙄

Thank you everyone for your continued support, prayers and well wishes. It gives us comfort to know you are sending your healing thoughts. ❤

Warm regards
Jubeele & Rex-T
msforgetmenott (17 stories) (316 posts)
+2
1 year ago (2018-12-02)
Hi Jubeele,

Rex-T and you, Jubeele, have been in my thoughts. Sending much love and best wishes for you both. You know a lot about the tough times and you both will get through them. ❤ ❤

I can not express how important the YGS family can be, when going through the rough spots of life. Just a few words from a name you had seen a lot in print, enabled them to become someone you really cared about. Please know for me, you and Rex-T are part of that list.

He has quite a fever and I hope the Drs. Can get him feeling fine in no time. Give him hugs for me, and hugs to you Jubeele.

My best,
Jan
Sleeping-with-steve (8 stories) (390 posts)
+2
1 year ago (2018-12-02)
Hello Jubeele,

My heart and thoughts are with you and Rex-T.

It must be really hard for you both, especially for Rex-T.

Please let him know we are all thinking of him and wishing him well.

Best wishes to you both,
Miandra.
😘 ❤ 😘
lady-glow (12 stories) (2479 posts)
+2
1 year ago (2018-12-02)
Jubeele - thanks for the update. Please give Rex a big hug from me.

Blessings. ❤
Jubeele (19 stories) (793 posts)
+4
1 year ago (2018-12-02)
Our heartfelt thanks to Melda, lady-glow, Miandra, Jan and all the people who have sent us your well wishes. Knowing that we have the support and caring thoughts from the YGS family in our time of need is very comforting.

Rex-T is feeling better and his temperature has come down from the frighteningly high 39. 4C (103F). Thank God for that. The doctors have found the presence of an invasive staph infection and placed him on antibiotics. He's expected to be in hospital for yet another week while they run a further barrage of tests. I suspect he might glow in the dark (like lady-glow) by the time they've finished with him. 😲

I'll keep everyone updated on his progress. Thanks so much again everyone. Light and love back to you all. ❤

Jubeele & Rex-T
Jubeele (19 stories) (793 posts)
+3
1 year ago (2018-11-05)
Rex-T was in hospital for almost 2 months after the transplant. I knew they had to stop his heart during the procedure but I didn't realise it stopped a second time. He was quite delirious for the initial 2 weeks. The nurses at the ICU told me he was calmer whenever I was present, so I spent as much time there as I could. He only has a vague memory of what he did and said to me during that period, and had to be reminded of the many crazy incidents.

In contrast, he remembered everything so clearly from his NDE. That strikes me as something out of the ordinary. If it had been merely a dream, he would have forgotten it as soon as he woke.

I'm glad Rex-T was finally able to share his experience. It has been troubling him for a while. A special thanks to Dee for your encouragement. Hopefully, others in turn will also be inspired to share theirs. The YGS community has helped us through that difficult first year - thanks everyone for your support and kindness.

Jubeele (aka Mrs Rex-T) ❤
Rex-T (5 stories) (260 posts)
+3
1 year ago (2018-11-02)
Hi babygoatpuller,

Thank you for reading and I'll jump straight into trying to answer your questions.

It felt like a quick sweep of the room but I recall most people were on my right hand side. My gaze only rested briefly on the person closest to me. It was a male with straight hair cut to the neck, a long face with longish ears and nose in proportion to the face and clean shaven. I could not make out the eyes as he was looking down at his wound, which extended across his lower left abdomen. I could not tell his (or anybody else's age) as the orange light seemed to "drown out" skin detail and color.

At this stage, I don't know if they used the defibrillator to start my heart up. However, I will be seeing my liver specialist on the 20th of this month, so I'll be asking her the why (did my heart stop) and the how (did the team get me going again) questions. So I hope to update the comments shortly after.

I did not see Jubeele. Both her's and the other voice were behind me, not in my head.

I did feel some anxiety to "leave in a hurry" but I don't know about fear. If the situation had continued maybe anxiety would have turned to fear, but this is speculation.

My experience was definitely not "chopped up". It flowed from the start (coming into the room) to the end (everything fading into the orange haze).

It took me a while to tell Jubeele of what had happened, so I can understand your reluctance to tell even one person of your own experience, let alone document and publish. Fortunately, Jubeele told me to write the whole experience down, before I forgot.

Hey BGP, at the end of the day, the choice to submit is yours alone. For what it's worth, my suggestion is "go for it" but in your own time.

Rex-T
babygoatpuller (4 stories) (432 posts)
+1
1 year ago (2018-11-01)
Rex- This was a fascinating read! I'm wondering, like everyone else, about the other bodies with the blank looks on their faces. Did you get or have any recollection of any facial features on any of them? Do you recall or know if they shocked your heart to bring you back? I know you heard Jubeele, but did you see her at all? During any of these "moments" in time, feel any kind of fear? Was the voice that was talking, in your head or do you think it was coming from somewhere else? Was this all one fluid "happening" or was it "chopped" up?

I personally don't believe any of it was a dream. Sorry for all the questions, but "I've been there, done that" and it's a bit difficult to talk about. Once I start to tell anyone what happened, I get the first sentence out and their reaction is "Jesus Christ! How the hell are you still alive?!" Then their eyes glaze over as they try to comprehend it and anything else I say is moot.

So sorry for my tardiness here, but when I saw your title, I knew it would be a difficult yet "must read" account and was trying to avoid it. However, I'm so glad I did and will perhaps now get off my arse and get it written up. 😊
Rex-T (5 stories) (260 posts)
+2
1 year ago (2018-10-31)
Good to hear from you lady-glow, hope you, the family and the Corgi's are well. Prince Harry and Meghan dropped in to say hello. It will probably be your turn soon.

You touched on one aspect of my experience that I'm now seriously reconsidering. That is; why show me all those other people and the state they were in?

My head is filled with questions upon questions. Was I meant to come back and send a message to everyone by telling people what I saw? Was this vision preparing me for what I would see, when I woke up in the Intensive Care Unit?

I'll figure it out eventually. I'm glad I came back and got talked into joining YGS by Jubeele (haven't had this much fun in years). Keep on posting lady-glow, you certainly make life... Interesting.

Rex-T
Rex-T (5 stories) (260 posts)
+2
1 year ago (2018-10-31)
Dee,

A good weekend indeed! Happy birthdays to your clan members. May there be many more.

As I recall, for me, the final tipping point to submit was our conversation with Jan and RedWolf. So I agree, it would be beneficial to see some more submissions (as long as they meet the criteria).

Thanks again.
Rex-T
lady-glow (12 stories) (2479 posts)
+1
1 year ago (2018-10-30)
Hello Rex - thanks for sharing such fascinating experience. I really enjoyed reading your narrative and the thread of comments... So much to ponder about.

I find the part where "other injured people on stretchers, gurneys and beds all looking down at themselves with blank looks on their faces" quite intriguing, it makes me wonder if they were going through a painless stage and were considering if they should abandon or fight for their body.

I'm glad you were sent 'to this side'.
CuriousDee (8 stories) (630 posts)
+1
1 year ago (2018-10-30)
Rex,

No apologies needed, I completely understand. I hope others that have questioned whether they experienced an NDE will find encouragement from you sharing your story. This community is really amazing and supportive. Maybe we'll see a few more accounts from others... No pressure. I'm glad you understood what I was getting at. Sometimes I think; "Does that sound crazy?" 😜

You are absolutely right, life is too short and I had a great weekend. My other half turned 40 and we celebrated my nephew's 1st birthday.

All the best from your 'secret fan' 😁

-Dee

PS: While scrolling down to comment, I see you referenced Led Zeppelin, one of my favorite bands. 😆
Rex-T (5 stories) (260 posts)
+5
1 year ago (2018-10-30)
Hey Dee, life's too short to pass up an opportunity to have an awesome weekend. Hope you have recovered and are now bright eyed and bushy tailed.

Thanks to you, Jubeele and many more in the YGS family for your encouragement to post this experience. In fact, I should explain that the only reason that I didn't reply to your last comment to me, was that I do not believe in putting pressure on the moderators to publish, by prematurely advertising a documented experience. So, a special thanks to the mod's as well.

You've picked up on the three main themes in the commentary. That is, the room plus people, the conversation with the voice, and the role that Jubeele and/or a guardian played in bringing me back.

The YGS family have helped me clarify a lot that I remembered but initially considered as irrelevant. You picked up on my recollection, which for me, is surprising that I can still remember fine details a year after the NDE happened.

Anyway, while old and, no doubt, new questions will bug me, I'll leave this chapter open for everyone.

Rex-T
CuriousDee (8 stories) (630 posts)
+1
1 year ago (2018-10-29)
Hi Rex!

I'm so glad you shared this amazing experience! I'm sorry I'm late to the party, its been a very busy weekend.

I didn't get a chance to read the comments yet, so I apologize if I repeat anyone's thoughts, ideas, etc.

First, I absolutely believe you experienced an NDE as opposed to a dream. As you mentioned, there is a noticeable difference between a dream that fades away and a vivid, intense experience that has a profound effect on you. Not to mention the fact that you are able to recall minute details, emotions, etc.

When you described seeing the room filled with wounded individuals whom had a blank expression, my first thought is that you did witness a sort of triage. However, it could be a triage for those undergoing surgery (under anesthesia), in a coma state, etc. It might explain the 'blank' expressions. Perhaps it was a sort of spiritual 'layover'... A place where these individuals decide if they will stay here in the physical or go on to the other side. Or it's place where healing takes place on a soul level. The fact that the majority of people don't recall any details of this place would make sense because we aren't meant to remember them. It would be akin to a top secret meeting. 😉

The voice you heard is quite intriguing. You stated that it was familiar, but I'm assuming you haven't matched it with anyone you've known. My thoughts on this are that you heard the voice of your spirit guide. "I should not be here, and I must leave"... It sounds like your guide was making sure you understood that you had to go back (to the physical) and to not get 'comfortable' with that warm feeling as you have much to do here still.

That warm feeling you described sounds like you were enveloped with love. Love from any passed on loved ones, your guides, etc. Also, it could be that you experienced your true self in soul form.

Hearing Jubeele's voice makes perfect sense to me. Her love for you and the intense emotions I'm sure she felt would be picked up by you on a deep energetic level. In other words, you two are obviously connected emotionally and mentally.

I hope I made sense here 😜 Thank you so much for sharing an amazing experience with us! Have no doubt, that was definitely not a dream.

Dee
Rex-T (5 stories) (260 posts)
+2
1 year ago (2018-10-29)
Thank you BeautInside for reading my account.

How about we just say you were "fashionably late for the party". Certainly, your comments are worth more than two cents.

For instance, your observation about the plight of the other people has reinforced what RC and Melda had touched upon and has got me thinking that one message is to hope and pray that these people in the waiting room are granted what they truly need.

A bit more than a year has passed and I've got to say that it's good to be back.

Thanks again.

Rex-T signing off for the night.
BeautInside (3 stories) (326 posts)
+3
1 year ago (2018-10-29)
Hi Rex-T,

Firstly, I am glad it was not your time to go!
I know almost everything has been said and I'm late (again) but I had to leave my 2 cents. 😊

NDE's are an intriguing and misterious subject. Maybe this is why they always call out for my attention. And yours seems a bit more misterious than those I have learnt about... While most NDE's are about lights and small conversations (yes, I believe it wasn't a dream) yours goes beyond that because to me it looked like you were in some sort of "waiting room". This leads towards Melda's theory, makes sense that if you were told you died twice that might have taken you to some kind of limbo. And you stayed there until, fortunately, Jubelee pulled you out. But I firmly believe that it was not your time to leave this world. 😉

As for the other people you saw, some were also injured and even though some didn't look injured maybe they were people who were put into life support after suffering a stroke, heart attack, brain damage... And that brought them to the same place you were.

Well, the most important thing is that you (and other dear YGS members) came back to your family and to YGS family.

Take care and thank you for sharing such an interesting experience. ❤
Melda (9 stories) (1143 posts)
 
1 year ago (2018-10-29)
RCRuskin - Now I'm in fits of laughter! I picture myself getting into shorts, T-shirt and sneakers and jogging down to the corner store to buy gum. Bear in mind that it's three in the afternoon here and approximately 36 degrees. I HATE gum.

Thinking about gum, "Im going to wash that gum right out of my hair", or is it "man"? Oh no! I've replaced one song with another and I by far prefer the first. Now I'm confused 😕 😁

Regards, Melda

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