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Why Is She Just Standing There?


The housing estate of Queenstown, where my Mum still lives in Singapore, is reported to have been built over a Chinese cemetery during the early 1960s. This may explain to some extent my own unsettling experiences there as a child, as shared in "Disturbed By The Spirits".

In my father's family, Second Aunt Maggie's son, Cousin Nick has been known to sensitive to the spirits. I've related a few of his experiences as a child in "Grandma's House At Cairnhill - Part 3". He was especially close to my father in those days and regularly came to visit us. Even though Nick was at least 15 years older than my sisters and I, he was the nearest to an older brother we had out of all our paternal male cousins. To this day, I still greet him as Elder Brother Nick or Nick gŏu-gōu [gore-gor: elder brother - Cantonese].

When Nick was in his twenties, he had another strange encounter. That evening, he had come over with his wife, Polly and Aunt Maggie to our place in Queenstown for dinner. The carpark at the front of our flat was full at the time, so Nick had to drive round to the one at the back. (All names mentioned have been changed).

It seemed just another sultry night in Singapore; the frogs and the insects were singing their evening chorus, with the occasional chirrup from a nightbird. Nick circled the area, steering by the light of the street lamps and the car's headlights. As he was keeping an eye out for an available spot, he muttered a curse and suddenly braked.

Jolted forward, Aunt Maggie and Polly cried out in surprise, bouncing back in their seats. The car stopped smack in the middle of the carpark. Nick was glaring past the dashboard at his windscreen.

'Why is that stupid woman just standing there?' he complained and swore heatedly in Hokkien. 'Does she want to get run over?'

'What are you talking about?' Polly wanted to know.

'Kwă sī-mè cā-bòh [see what girl]?' asked Aunt Maggie in Hokkien.

Nick's tirade stopped in mid-flow when it dawned on him that his wife and mother were both looking at him with expressions of bewilderment. Turning back to the windscreen, he found that the woman was no longer there. Not in front, behind, to the side or anywhere else.

Stunned into silence, Nick hastily found a spot and parked the car. That night, we thought he seemed unwell, as he didn't join in any of the usual banter.

Family gatherings with my father's side of the family were typically loud and hearty. All the adults would be clamouring to get a point across at the same time. No one seemed to get upset if someone talked over the top of another. We never had any problems keeping up with the conversation though. You had to be part of the clan to have this multi-conversational ability. So it was out of character for Nick to remain quiet.

After dinner, Dad was concerned and insisted on knowing what was wrong with him. Nick was reluctant to speak about his experience, so it was Aunt Maggie who told us what had happened. When she finished, we all gaped in surprise at her and then stared wide-eyed at Nick.

I remember thinking to myself that something definitely frightened him. I'd never seen my cousin, whom I knew to be very self-assured, look so shaken before.

'Have you seen this cā-bòh [girl - Hokkien] before?' Dad asked. 'What did she look like?'

If it had been anyone but Dad doing the asking, I don't think Nick would have given us any further information. By that time, I'm sure he was probably beginning to doubt his memory of the event.

At length, the details slowly emerged. Apparently, Nick had seen a woman in a long white dress. She was attractive, of Asian appearance, young, probably in her twenties, with long black hair. The woman had looked as real to him as any of us at the dinner table.

Until she vanished from sight, that is.

Over the years, this woman in white has become another family mystery. Who was she? Why did she appear only to Cousin Nick? What did she want? Why she was just standing there?

Somewhat to my surprise, I now realise that my family has its own "White Lady" legend.


This event happened around the 1970s. I've never heard of any fatal accidents in that carpark or any untimely deaths in the immediate vicinity during that period. I've always thought Nick may have seen a residual haunt from times long past.

As a matter of interest, I did find this article on an unsolved case of a young woman who was shot in 1972, within the Queenstown area:


So I pose these questions to everyone:

- Do hauntings generally stay localised at the point of demise?

- In the case of restless or wandering ghosts, how far can they possibly roam?

The murder took place about a block away from the sighting.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Jubeele, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

valkricry (49 stories) (3268 posts) mod
6 years ago (2018-01-27)
All you can do is try. Even if he does agree, he might not be able to be sure because of the length of time that's passed. Although, I'm fairly sure it's not something one is likely to forget.
Jubeele (25 stories) (886 posts)
6 years ago (2018-01-26)
Val - I'm wondering how to best approach the subject with my cousin. If he's not willing to open up, I might show the article to my aunt and let her talk to him at a later time. My aunt is of the opinion that such experiences should be shared with the family to be discussed or explained away. Her reasoning is that too much secrecy would only create more fear. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. ❤
valkricry (49 stories) (3268 posts) mod
6 years ago (2018-01-26)
What would be interesting (not that the event wasn't) is if Nick could look at the picture in the article and identify whether or not she is the one he saw.
It's a common thought that those who meet violent or sudden deaths, often haunt the vicinity where they met their end. However, I would point out that there are countless accounts who claim to have seen victims miles from the area. Generally speaking these seem to be folks who were connected to the victim and could possibly be classified as final goodbye visits.
With wandering or restless spirits, the vicinity where it all ended is often described as 'nearby', so a block seems reasonable.
Because she didn't seem to interact, look towards the car or anything, she might have been residual.
MrRiggs (7 stories) (102 posts)
6 years ago (2018-01-22)

No, I do not think your brother saw a woman in the OBE state. I do think your brother has the ability to see the departed and saw a ghost. The psychic and medium section of YGS focuses on these abilities and has many related stories.

I provided you OBE information regarding movement in the OBE state. As I mentioned, I know next to nothing about ghosts. There may be a relationship between the two, however. The OBE is a human spirit or soul temporarily out of its body. A ghost may be a human spirit or soul permanently out of its body. If they are both human spirits or souls, then there may be similarities in their ability to move or travel.

I have not seen or had contact with my brother since I saw him being attacked in Hawaii. He was busy trying not to be killed and people tend to get tunnel vision when stressed. I doubt he would have noticed my presence. I don't know if someone in the OBE state can be detected by a person in the flesh. I do know with certainty that a person in the OBE state can see people and be witness to what they are doing.

YGS' astral projection section has numerous stories and information on the topic. I never believed the things I had read about astral projection, thinking it utter poppycock. In fact, I still feel it is complete nonesense from an intellectual standpoint. What I can't argue with is that it has happened to me involuntarily, and too many times to deny it. Apparently that ability runs in my family.

In my past I had been a state police officer (briefly) and an investigator several times over. I'm also an old Asian hand. What I would like to know is more about the white dress. Clothing style can be an indicator of an identifiable time period. There may have been other indicators in the image seen, such as fashion accessories, etc. A hypnotist can be of use in recovering details of things witnessed in the past.

There is a possibility she may have been a sex worker, an occupation common throughout much of Asia. That work can be high risk, as most any policeman can attest to.

That your brother saw a ghost that vanished seems perfectly reasonable to me. Getting a possible identity of the ghost will take some work, though you appear to have a knack for it. Good luck with your case.
Jubeele (25 stories) (886 posts)
6 years ago (2018-01-22)
My Special Agent 13***15! I hope you're well. So glad to hear from someone in Singapore. I always thought Hokkien was one of the best dialects for swearing, <ahem> I mean colourful descriptions.

That's interesting about your theory - that's my first thought too, that she knew her murderer. A gun isn't that easy to come by in Singapore, so I've wondered if it was a gangland killing. I like your theory as to why she could've been in the carpark. She was retracing her movements on that day...

My family actually were in the Tanglin area in the mid 1960s before moving a bit further away. Very close to the scene of the crime. 😟

(BTW, I posted a comment on your second account some time ago. 😉)
Jubeele (25 stories) (886 posts)
6 years ago (2018-01-22)
How are you, MrRiggs? You've brought up yet another viewpoint. I never considered OBB or OBE. So perhaps the woman in white was someone's astral projection? That's a most interesting hypothesis.

During your OBB episodes, were you ever seen by anyone or able to interact with them? Was your brother aware in a peripheral way of your presence? I find your experiences, as always, uniquely fascinating.

Thank you for your input on the subject. 😊
Jubeele (25 stories) (886 posts)
6 years ago (2018-01-22)
Em, I do recall seeing historical dramas where the Chinese burial clothes were in white. This may also depend whether the family followed Buddhist/Taoist or other practices. I've wondered if white burial clothes are one of the reasons why there are so many "White Lady" sightings. I could be totally wrong. If anyone knows of anything else, I'd be interested to learn more. 🤔

This may have changed over the years. At my father's funeral in 2004, my mother picked his favourite grey safari suit. I've attached an article I found about Singaporean Chinese death rituals:

My family has become used to ignoring strange events. We usually try to examine things in a logical manner because most of the time, there's a reasonable explanation. For the 5% of inexplicable weirdness, we'd simply accept it as "one of those things". 😲
ThirteenStars15 (3 stories) (31 posts)
6 years ago (2018-01-21)
When I read until the part your cousin swore in Hokkien, I totally have the scene played out in my mind, him looking pissed off and probably gesturing wildly and some 'knn's and 'cb's flying out (you know what I mean... 😜)

Hmm about the questions,
I am thinking maybe before she was murdered, she was standing at the road maybe waiting for someone, or maybe she was picked up by the murderer and then killed at the block later on... (Prolly means she knew who was the murderer)
MrRiggs (7 stories) (102 posts)
6 years ago (2018-01-21)
Jubeele - I can offer you nothing worthwhile about ghosts and their behavior. I can, however, provide you insite on the movement of out-of-body human spirits.

I have had an estimated 8-10 spontaneous out of body (OOB) experiences, 1 intentional OOB and 1 OOB that, I believe, began as a dream.

Movement during an OOB occurs as you wish, intend or desire. To think it (directional movement) with intent is to achieve it.

Distance appears to be immaterial, at least in my experience. Gravity is without meaning, as are physical barriers. Movement is similar to flight. The engine that drives you is your will. The speed of travel or movement is as you desire. It can be, or at least can appear to be, almost instant.

During an OOB, you are you less the flesh.

There will be skeptics and critics, of course. So I offer you this documented experience as an illustration of what is possible:

1983-84 Hawaiian Islands

My brother was camped in a sugar cane field that was being used to grow an illegal marijuana crop. He was attacked by two men involved with the marijuana operation. The attack took place late at night; one of the men was armed with a knife.

I witnessed the attack from the air and drew closer to the attackers to observe the details.

At that time my body was located in my Virginia home. I was out of body.

Thinking my brother dead, I flew to Hawaii and met with police investigators. They confirmed all the details I presented. My brother had not been killed, however. It was he who filed a complaint with the very detectives I spoke with.

My brother's police report is a matter of record. The detectives who interviewed me should have placed the report of that interview in the case file. For those who wish confirmation of what I present here, I suggest you contact the police to obtain access to the file. I will provide the necessary details to assist in that undertaking.

As the topic of interest is ghosts and their movements, it appears there may be a similarity between a ghost's (deceased human spirit) ability to move and those of the OOB experiencer.

Just sayin'.
EmmalineTexas (10 stories) (163 posts)
6 years ago (2018-01-19)
Jubeele - Thanks for another wonderful story! When I read that it was a young woman dressed in white, I wondered immediately about the cemetery aspect. Was it a custom in the 1900's for someone to be buried in white? If I remember right, in some cultures white is associated with death instead of black. Fascinating that your family treats it all as commonplace. I can relate because my family also goes over an account, tries to figure it out, then simply moves on... ❤

Thank you,
Jubeele (25 stories) (886 posts)
6 years ago (2018-01-19)
RC, your comment may not the first - but it's just as valued.

I'm still uncertain whether it was a residual or a wandering spirit. There were a few rumours of suicides in the apartment block on the hill behind that carpark. But it may have been a much later period. I'll have to ask my mother or my elder sister if they remember anything happening around that time.

The carpark, the nearby apartment blocks are all built on the site of a Chinese cemetery.
"Queenstown was formerly a swampy valley with two hills named Hong Lim and Hong Yin. The Hong Lim hill was a cemetery for over 100, 000 Chinese graves, while Hong Yin hill was covered with orchards and rubber plantations."

I'm not really sure if it was the ghost of that murdered woman. But thanks for pointing out that wandering spirits have been know to travel far distances. When you put it that way, a block away isn't that far away.

But I'm intrigued about the idea of having a glimpse of someone in the future. Thank you for the information. You've given me many aspects to consider.
Jubeele (25 stories) (886 posts)
6 years ago (2018-01-19)
Thanks for your kind comment, Fergie. I hope my cousin will open up and share his experiences. I hear he's a grandfather already - I wonder if his son and grandson also share his gift?

That account about the woman and the train sounds interesting. I'm going to keep an eye out for it in the archives.

All the best to you and the family - especially Shenay in her new school term. ❤
RCRuskin (9 stories) (815 posts)
6 years ago (2018-01-19)
I'm not the first? Oh, the shame... 😁

Having not yet read the other comments, I'm just going to answer your questions, Jubeele, as if I was the first.

Do hauntings stay localized at the point of demise? In my experience, no. A residual haunting, like a video recording, would just play over and over, but a willful ghost/spirit would not be bound by such limitations and could wander wherever it wished. Such ghosts usually go to places that were important to them in life. Why a ghost would go to a carpark is not something I can comprehend, unless they parked their car there that evening and were trying to get home.

In the case of restless or wandering ghosts, how far can they possibly roam? Quite far, I think. I've heard and read stories of soldiers dying on battlefields, and their spirits appearing to family, friends, and loved ones on the other side of the globe. The exact distance away would depend, I suppose, on whether the ghost traveled along the surface of our sphere or chose to go through the crust, mantle, and core on the way.

Assuming the ghost your 'brother'/cousin saw was not that of the locally murdered woman, she could have come from any era to the spot where she had an emotional attachment. Perhaps sometime in the past or the future, where there was a carpark in the 70s there was, or will be, a house.
Fergie (40 stories) (1159 posts)
6 years ago (2018-01-19)
Jubeele, thank you for another well written, interesting account. Here is to hoping cousin Nick will take you into his confidence.

I don't know how far spirits can roam, but I do half-remember a few accounts that did the rounds here a few years back.

One was of a fatal accident just outside of a town named Vereeniging. The case was of a young woman, and a man, being killed by a train on a level crossing. For years afterwards, the woman would be seen flagging motorists down as a train was approaching. This went on, even though a bridge had been built over the train line.
This went on, until someone took pity on the spirit; stopped his car, and told the spirit she could rest now. There was no more danger on the tracks.
Jubeele (25 stories) (886 posts)
6 years ago (2018-01-19)
Melda, that's an interesting point about my cousin's ability. The sighting seems likely to be a residual as the woman in white never gave any indication she was aware of them.

I've walked the distance from my parent's flat to where the shooting occurred. It's quite troubling to be reminded that evil deeds can remain unsolved. That poor woman's family. I can't imagine what they must've gone through. If she had family or friends in the area, you may be right that it was part of her routine and she was revisiting the places she used to go to.

I'm planning a visit back to Singapore soon and I've promised my aunt to visit her and the family. Maybe I can persuade my cousin to talk about his experiences with me. But only if he's willing though - he's always been a bit uncomfortable with his gift.

Thank you for your kind comments. I'm glad you enjoyed this simple account. ❤
Jubeele (25 stories) (886 posts)
6 years ago (2018-01-19)
Hi lady-glow, I honestly have no idea. It's frustrating - if only I knew then the wisdom of keeping a journal. But I was only between 8 to 10 years old at the time. All I'm sure of was that my cousin was quite frightened that night. It was the first time I realised that a grown man could be so affected.

That cold case involving that poor woman caught my attention because it was close to the period and within walking distance of the flat. It does provide interesting speculation. I hope she is now at peace.

My cousin to this day remains very tight-lipped about his experiences. His wife has said that he's seen other things but he still wouldn't give any details to us. I think Grandma's rules still remain in force. ❤
Melda (10 stories) (1363 posts)
6 years ago (2018-01-18)
Jubeele - Quite possibly the woman wasn't intentionally showing herself to Nick but he had the ability to see her and his wife and mother didn't.

I think that mostly ghosts will stay close to people that they were close to during life or locations where they had lived and felt comfortable during life, much like we go home after a shopping spree. I'm not comparing death to a shopping spree but I think it would be a natural thing to do, unless the spirit of the person was fortunate enough to cross over immediately.

Very interesting and well written, as always 😊

Regards, Melda
lady-glow (16 stories) (3157 posts)
6 years ago (2018-01-18)
Hi Jubeele!

Fascinating story!
I'd assume that ghosts would wander around the places that had some significance during their lives and daily rutine, specially if they aren't aware of their passing.
After reading the provided link, it makes me wonder if she used to walk the area of the housing estate on her way to work.

Do you have any idea if this encounter happened in the anniversary of this girl's murder?

Thanks for sharing. ❤

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