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My Son and my Mom's Grave


My son decided to visit my mom's grave a few years back but wasn't sure exactly where it was in the cemetery. My son always blamed himself for her death because a few days after an argument with her she had one of her heart attacks, she died a month later. It was Christmas eve 1983.

I tried to explain to him that she was only given 5 years to live if she didn't have open heart surgery and she didn't want it. And the 5 years were up at this point so she was living on borrowed time. Mom had a way of saying things like "if you don't quit that, you are going to give me a heart attack" or "are you trying to kill me?" so of course, my son remember one of her comments and so he was sure the petty argument was the cause of her death. My mom accused me of killing my father (of a broken heart) because I married so young (16/17) and had a child. So it was part of her personality to place guilt on us kids.

Her death, ruined many Christmas' because it brought back memories for all of us, it was hard to celebrate a happy occasion mixed with a sad one. My son's ex-wife told me it was a big cause in the break up their marriage. So being I lived in Florida and he in NJ, I decided to write him a long letter explaining the facts of her death and why my mom would say such things.

I guess it helped him because he started getting over his guilt and come Christmas he had a good time.

Well as I stated, he decided to go to the cemetery to visit her grave. He kind of knew where the plot was but not really sure where to look. He started to "talk" to my mom asking where she was and all of the sudden music came blaring out of a window of a house across the street from the cemetery. The song was one of his favorites, a heavy metal song about dying (not stairway to heaven) but I can't remember the name. He walked towards the music and when it stopped, he looked down and there was my family plot. No other music came out of that window the remainder of the time he was there.

He stayed a long time and made peace with her as well as visiting my father's grave and other family members he never met.

The cemetery is in the middle of a neighborhood surrounded by homes on all 4 sides so it wasn't unusual to hear outside noises or see people in the area. It just seemed strange that on this day a song from my son's past regarding death and dying was playing loudly out a window, and quit just as he got to the right plot.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, MOTHERPANN, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

77believer (1 stories) (34 posts)
14 years ago (2010-01-17)
Actually now I'm not so sure if it is. Now that I think about it it doesn't really sound like a ghost.
77believer (1 stories) (34 posts)
14 years ago (2010-01-16)
Hey musicgrrl104. I think this story is real. I'm guessing that all the noises I hear are in my head.
musicgrrl104 (28 posts)
14 years ago (2010-01-16)
GhostGal, why are you even on this site? You need to not say stuff like that. I think this story is very believable, and I think this could be a sign that your mother does not hate your son. I wish you well, and God Bless!
ChildOfTheLotus (10 stories) (133 posts)
15 years ago (2009-09-14)
Don't mind GhostGal. Not every ghost story has a big bad boogeyman. This was a significant story that was able to leave your son with a little piece of mind. Maybe your mom felt guilty for saying those mean things to him, and didn't know how seriously he would take it. That may have been why she contacted him from the other side. To say she's sorry and didn't mean it. I certainly hope she didn't mean what she said about your dad, I'm sure it was not your fault.
Brownie09 (6 stories) (293 posts)
16 years ago (2008-08-20)
Hi Motherpann, I loved the story and I think it was your mother's way of telling him where her grave was, so he could finally put his blaming himself to rest. I don't know if this is the song you were talking about or not but could it be Knocking On Heaven's Door by Guns and Roses? That was a very popular song when I was growing up which I am now 23. Please post some more stories for us. Sorry to hear about your mom.😊
MOTHERPANN (10 stories) (77 posts)
16 years ago (2008-06-30)
I think so too, my mom has sent other messages that I wrote about in other stories. I hope more happens soon, it's been quite lately.
Hunters (guest)
16 years ago (2008-06-30)
Wow, maybe your mom wanted to show your son where her grave was by giving a sign that would lead him there.

muahh (53 posts)
16 years ago (2008-05-01)
I consider this as one of those good-weird-feel type of story. It makes you feel good at the same time sad... Aw, I don't know. It's a great story. Let's leave it at that! 😊

thanks for a great story... God Bless 😁
Matt (4 posts)
16 years ago (2008-04-30)
Actually I've heard of this happening often it's, what I like to think it's a peace moment. Like the 'passed', if you will, realizes they are gone.
megankay (guest)
16 years ago (2008-04-30)
Oh wow! I thought was so cool how your son stumbled along the grave. Weird things like that happen to me all the time. Good Story!

😉 Megan 😉
ghostluver1523 (22 posts)
16 years ago (2008-04-27)
This story is weird. I think that the song was playing to lead your son to your mother's grave.That's just what I think.I'm not saying that that's why it was playing. I mean someone could of just like that song and decided to play it lound.That's just what I think

~~ Amy ~~
KimSouthO (27 stories) (1960 posts)
16 years ago (2008-04-22)

This is a wonderful story! I enjoyed the journey very much, and I thank you for sharing it with us.

We all blame and behave in specific ways to place occurances as 'coincidences', but... I doubt that there are many true coincidences. There was a reason for the music and a reason it led your son to her grave.

Chill. Not all stories having to do with the paranoprmal have occurnaces that go bump in the night or exhibit spine tingling fear. As a matter of fact, a lot of the true paranormal occurances are just as this one.

I am glad your son has completed this journey and is able to put to rest his guilt.

God Bless!
MOTHERPANN (10 stories) (77 posts)
16 years ago (2008-04-22)
GEE Ghostgirl, what crawled up your...
Never said it was a ghost, just an interesting story regarding a graveyard, a "lost" grave and my son and his healing adventure. If you read another of my posts regarding my mom and stuff, maybe you would understand the connection.
I noticed you have had several posts but no stories, maybe you would like to share all the paranormal things that have happened in your life so we can comment on them...

ps the boy was 37 years old not a child!

thanks for all the kind words from the rest of you!
whitebuffalo (guest)
16 years ago (2008-04-21)
Whew, The GREAT thing about this site is that it allows us all the opportunity to think through and contemplate things that we may not be able to in our own lives. We can pick up any number of books at the local library about the paranormal, we can watch the shows on the telly, and we can even be there in the act of making a personal documentary of the things that are effecting us. As all of these things are still classified under the "Unknown" there are but traces of scientific evidence and knowledge to back up any one of our claims.
The AWESOME part of any of our experiences is the way in which they effect US. If we go through life ignoring all of the "coincidences" and finding excuses (not logical explanations, but excuses) for the things that we encounter, we are giving ourselves limitations. We are stopping ourselves from learning all there is to learn about life this time around. We would be PREVENTING knowledge from entering our lives.
So someone else just happened to be blaring out the song that just happened to be this young mans favorite song. Sure, we could just say, "Man, what a GREAT coincidence!", but the music STOPPED as he reached his grandmothers burial site. AGAIN, we could still say "Man, what a coincidence!", but he FELT that this was a connection with his Grandmother. He FELT that she was leading him to the right place.
Stranger things have happened. Our feelings are very valid parts of the paranormal experience. With out the added benefit of the FEEL, how will we know when to back off and let the entity have it's say?
I still think that Grandmother was relieving grandson of the guilt that he carried with him all of that time. I still think that she was allowing him to HEAL, and to be free to think better thoughts than those he had had up until the point that the music began.
Thank you for letting me revisit your story and share my thoughts once again.
ChrisB (6 stories) (1515 posts)
16 years ago (2008-04-21)
Ok I was about to say something to ghostGal but I think I wont. I don't want to be like that. 😐
GhostGal (6 stories) (104 posts)
16 years ago (2008-04-19)
To tell you the truth... This isn't much of a ghost story. So the boy heard some music. Wasnt THAT big of a deal... But thank's for sharring 😊

Prettiest_Girl_in_the_Morgue (2 stories) (15 posts)
16 years ago (2008-04-18)
really liked the story, and I think its very believable... Something that could be put down to 'co-incidence' but is just a little bit too weird to be coincidental!
Tonith (1136 posts)
16 years ago (2008-04-17)
I'm glad your son found peace within that situation. Guilt is a way of controlling people. You took the time to set him straight and seems like your mother did the rest. I know there are people who are still controlling from the grave because of what they said to their children throughout a lifetime or especially on their deathbed.I'm sure now that mom is on the other side she knows this was not right and wanted to make amends. Sounds like she did something that he could relate to and understand. And the truth will set you free.
Flutterofwings (13 stories) (428 posts)
16 years ago (2008-04-16)
A very beautiful story and well written. Thank you for sharing it with us. Yes we say so many words to people, that we just don't know will haunt them perhaps in years to come.

My dad had a heart attack and my Mom blamed it on me. For years I felt I was at fault so I know how this young man felt too.
chelleck (3 stories) (56 posts)
16 years ago (2008-04-15)

I am sorry for your lost and the years your son felt he was responsible. That must have been torture for your family.

I love the ending of how your mother shows him where to find her.

Thank you for sharing your story with us.
whitebuffalo (guest)
16 years ago (2008-04-15)
Strange? No. Simply beautiful.
I think it wonderful that your son thought to ask her where she was. I think it a blessing that she would use his favorite song to draw him closer. How GREAT that he was able to distinguish her message through the song.
I am so glad that he is finally able to release some of that guilt. How sad that some of the things we say remain with people, even after we are gone.
I guess the main lesson here really is to choose our words wisely, as they may be the last ones that our loved ones hear from our lips.
Thank you.
ChrisB (6 stories) (1515 posts)
16 years ago (2008-04-15)
Hi Motherpann. I am sory for your loss. It must have been a hard time for your son. Even when he got older it was hard for him to get over this. But his grandmother on your mother gave him a sighn that even thoe she has gone she still loves him. And the fact that she had to go was not his fault. It is part of life. I bet that she told him that everything is al right. I hope that everything is good now. I hope hope to hear from you soon and take care
rhodes68 (14 stories) (1596 posts)
16 years ago (2008-04-15)
Hi Motherpann and thank you for sharing your story with us. I found it bitter and sad in some ways but also sweet and comforting at least at the end. I can relate to that feeling of guilt your boy felt and I can tell you, despite the fact that it's quite irrational some times it can be "consuming". Some words are daily spoken out-loud without the speaker realising the gravity of their statement but then again, they are usually our people whom we love for their "multiplicity" of character.It's also true that when we lose someone we love, guilt sometimes kicks in to remind us of what we could have done better.

It was a lovely thing to speak to your son and help him come to peace with himself. It's important because it was done by you, the link that holds together two parts of the same "chain';being his mother while, at the same time, her daughter.

Besides, the end of your story came to show him that she had not really meant those words of anger and that she longed for his visit!

Thank you so much for this beautiful message.

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