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Here When I'm Needed 3


This is my 3rd story about my late boyfriend who passed in 2009. For those readers who have not read the 1st and 2nd story, please do before continuing on.

Ever since Derek passed away I've "dreamt" of him many many times. I chose to put "dreamt" in quotations because I now strongly believe that when we dream, we are traveling to other dimensions with our souls and seeing with our third eye. So, in other words, I don't believe death is the end. Just the end of this stage. I also believe that each and everyone one of us has 1, 2, or maybe more spiritual guides that protect us. I never thought like this until Derek passed and that leading to my experiences.

6 weeks after he passed, I had my first dream about him. (in story 1 I talk about seeing him, not dream-like). In my dream, he and I were talking and sitting on the couch, until I realized through our conversation that he has no idea he was dead! At that I started to cry and talking really fast; explaining to him how he died, who he was with, the funeral, and stuff I buried him with, etc. He looked at me with a dumbfounded look and thought for a second before saying, "oh honey...I'm so sorry honey"...of course I cried harder and told him not to be sorry and that I missed him so much. He then said, "oh well! Now it's even better right?! I don't have to worry about money and I can hang out with you all day!". Ever since then every dream I had of him we were both aware of his death, and he would continue to be there for me every time I needed him to be. I informed him on everything that was happening with me, when I started dating, when I got engaged to be married. Every time I told him anything he always listened to me while doing other things like looking in the fridge for food, or just around. He also said "I know" with a smile to almost anything I told him.

Over time I "dream" of him less and less, from slowly not seeing his face any more, to just seeing his car drive by (which he died in, it was a Nissan 350z, I had to say it because he loved it so much:) I know he's in a better place now, but I know he still checks up on me from time to time.

For those wondering why I was talking about dimensions and what not, it is somehow related to my next story, so stay tuned!

P.s. I just want to say I'm so glad I found this site and my heart goes out to everyone that has written a story here, I may not comment on everything but I do read them!

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, notjustme, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

notjustme (19 stories) (852 posts)
9 years ago (2013-09-10)
If anyone cares, i'm just here to correct a typo in this story. My ex actually passed in 2008 not 2009
notjustme (19 stories) (852 posts)
9 years ago (2013-07-23)
AUSSIEDAZ- sorry I took so long to reply, I missed the last part where you were asking me a question 😆 Now, I hope I am answering correctly, as I'm not 100% sure what you are asking me. Lol. I may just stray off to talk about whatever, so bare with me

Most of the time I can tell the difference between realistic dream and non. For example, in grade 5 when I was 10 years old, I remember I dreamed I was on the playground on the bridge. To my left was a small grass hill and I started to see skeleton crocodiles coming down! Then I thought for a second, "wait a minute, crocs don't look like that! I must be dreaming!" then right away I pictured myself on my 6th floor balcony and I jumped! And I flew! Then woke up.

As for Derek, every time I saw him I would be surprised at first. Then after a few questions of "what are you doing here?"..."you died 2 years ago didn't you?"...and he would only smile so I knew. However, I think it is all because I didn't want to believe he was gone and thought maybe he was playing tricks on me. I know that's pretty far-fetched but hey I was desperate.

I had a dream once where I was on an island and I KNEW he was around but couldn't find or see him. So I started getting angry and just yelling to myself stuff like "why would you play such a trick on me? Do you not want to be with me any more?! Come out!" and running around the island like a mad woman. When I woke up I realized I was just having a hard time letting go. 😕 - yes that didn't answer shat, did - love, a confused, NotJustMe
aussiedaz (18 stories) (1523 posts)
9 years ago (2013-04-04)
You are absolutely correct to believe your dreams are just more than that, our sleeping consciousness is also our spiritual one... On most occasions our spiritual consciousness through our dream state, basically examines our conscious thoughts and pre daily activities as a means of spiritual growth, most people just call it dreaming... But sometimes through personal loss our spiritual mind crosses back to the realm into these other dimensions your referring too in earnest to find the person they loss and in your account, your ex boyfriend... For some the experience is a lucid one, basically more than just a dream almost real life? And for others, it's in a state of super consciousness, where your reality is as real and 3d just like the one we live in consciously, I would be interested in knowing if you could distinct the difference between both? And which one you felt you was experiencing... Thank you for sharing your account.

notjustme (19 stories) (852 posts)
9 years ago (2013-04-03)
delzldy - I completely agree to your last sentence. Sounds weird, but after he passed, I sort of became him for while. I continued to live with his family for one year after the accident, and I took on the role of helping care for his mother (she's not old though, I just want to love her the way he did) and to this day his family (2 younger siblings, 1 older sister) and I are super close!
I started to do things he used to do, I traveled to Vietnam by myself to meet his relatives, whom i've never met before in my life. I stayed with his aunt (his mom's sister) and cousins for 5 days. I asked them to take me where they took him when he was there a year prior to my visit. I even requested the booth that he sat in at the bar, and to his very seat. I did all this because I needed answers, I don't know answers for what! I wanted to see what he saw, pretty much just so I can get closer to his thoughts. My way of trying to connect I guess.

It did change myself a lot. The way I think, to the way I look at situations and other people... For the better though =) I have more patience now but sometimes feel like I don't need anybody, which is not good in my opinion.

I grew into myself a bit more, know myself bit better, and what I want.

Thanks for listening and making my day at work quicker today!
DelzLdy (2 stories) (50 posts)
9 years ago (2013-04-03)
NotJustMe - I felt a kindred spirit in your story and had to share my own experience. My late husband used to sing the song "Three Times a Lady," by the Commodores, to me (you may be too young for that one;-)), and to this day I will sob all the way thru. I'm just very fortunate Del (my forever-husband) is so very understanding, and even offers his shoulder.

The soul-draining loss that occurs when someone you love so ompletely dies, can affect a person their entire life.
notjustme (19 stories) (852 posts)
9 years ago (2013-04-03)
delzldy - first, I would like to thank you to take the time to share that info with me, I appreciate it. Second, even though you're happy now, i'm sorry for your loss. And finally, I'm most happy to hear that you have a great guy now, and that he's always watched out for you and the family. I do see shadows sometimes too from the corner of my eye =)
DelzLdy (2 stories) (50 posts)
9 years ago (2013-04-03)
NotJustMe - My late husband (Don) was killed 30 years ago in a sort of auto accident as well. He was at a gas station, crouched down behind the car opening the gas tank (most people would just bend over at the waist - not Don) - the gas tank cap was located under the vehicle license plate. This woman ran into him. He died 5 hours later in surgery. I was left with 3 little boys and pregnant with our daughter.

A month later I was in a very bad accident myself and in the hospital for 1.5 months. After getting out I had to live with my parents for several months before being fit enough to live on my own. It was at this point I know he started looking out for me. Things were moved, (when I know without a doubt where I had left them;-)), I saw shadows out of the corner of my eye, my daughter's cradle would gently sway when I know I'd locked it in place, etc. He even showed his disapproval over a relationship I was having with a previous friend of his by knocking over a nightstand in my room while I was in the kitchen;-). This went on for about a year when I guess he saw that I was going to be ok and he moved on.

For many years after he died I would have horrible, gut-wrenching dreams where he had come back to life, but I knew he was going to die again. I'd wake completely exhausted as if I'd been crying for hours.

After Don's death I thought I could never truly love again, but I was wrong. My current, forever-husband, is my whole life. I'm glad you have been able to move on with your life as well.
notjustme (19 stories) (852 posts)
9 years ago (2013-04-03)
Thank you destinygirl + tabatha7 for reading. I also have a parent that has passed away long ago when I was 8. That's for next time! I have questions for you both but I don't want to spoil the next story, so i'll have to wait =)
DestinyGirl (5 stories) (13 posts)
9 years ago (2013-04-03)
Thank you for sharing your story. Right after my mom passed away last year I had a similar dream where we were trying to communicate (she rarely speaks in my dreams), and during the conversation I realized she did not know she had died.

Eventually I did have a very vivid dream when she knew she had gone and said she was OK.

I fully believe those who have passed over communicate with us through dreams because they know we are not fully capable of handling it otherwise.
tabatha7 (1 posts)
9 years ago (2013-04-03)
Thanks for sharing!, I loved the story and feel related to it, I lost my Dad almost 4 years ago and I dream of him too. I believe that in a way this dreams help you confirm that they are ok and in a better place:-)

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