Last night I had this song on repeat, a rap song about you never knowing when it's the last time you see a person before they pass, so say what you have to say now. I forget the title and artist. It had been years since I heard the song and it stuck with me when I was asleep. Especially the last part when he goes "So often, people pass away before you tell them how you really feel".
This morning, I got to work with news one of my co-workers had passed away due to a tragic accident. He was a good man who I had many conversations with and had been with my firm for many years.
He would always make a point to say my name when he walked into the office, and the last words I said to him were, "What's up?" He was always calm in a kind of eerie way. It was the kind of guy you had a feeling had something going on under the table, but you could never quite put your finger on it.
I've had thoughts and premonitions before, but nothing that was ever put into words. Sometimes music serves as your subconscious, and the things these artists put out there are real emotions they're trying to get at but can't put into words otherwise. I think what this artist was trying to say hit a real nerve in this moment.
I can still hear my coworker's voice and see his face in my mind, and there are sometimes when I will still say his name. This is the first time in a very long time I had someone I know pass away, and I have no idea what caused me to keep listening to that song. But whatever or whoever it was had a point.