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Do You Mind If I Sit With You?

 

I am Brian, msforgetmenott's Son.

As many of you know she is hospitalized for an extended stay for a serious ovarian cancer surgery. As the day approached for this surgery, it became very hard for us as when ever in conversation with my Mom, she would mention some family item that we must take home. You see she believed she would not survive this surgery. She continually expressed it. She had been passing to us many of her Dad's family items that she had collected in 1999, when my Grandfather had died. During the Christmas holidays, or perhaps a Birthday, old things of value, inside new packaging. I have a powder horn made from an ox horn, that belonged to my Great, Great Grandfather. But that is another story for another day.

Our Family is small, only my Parents, I and my wife and our Daughter, almost 14 now. It is a far cry from those days when families had ten children each and their children had as many again each.

Early in the morning of my mother's surgery, we were able to sit in a room where in front of us was a screen, where we could follow the progression of my Mom's surgery. We shared this room with others, waiting for their loved one's surgery to be completed also, their eyes on the screen, with tensions high. One of us would get up and bring back coffee and such, we all knew we had a long wait.

On a trip from that room to the bathroom, I saw a beautiful well designed garden, just outside the big windows. Unusual trees and flowering plants. I stepped out, learning from the sign that this was a public healing garden. After several hours, being inside, the air was fresh and there were many songbirds to hear. Pretty paths with benches set in the shade. It was what my heart needed, and I sat, alone and I cried. I cried for myself, my Mom, and all who love her.

I felt something on my back, then heard as slow male voice saying, "do you mind if I sit with you?" Shaking my lowered head no, I felt a person add weight to the bench, and putting a large hand on my knee. I turned to see, thinking it was a minister or priest, but saw no one. Yet, I still felt the large hand on my knee. My mind was swirling in confusion, but I knew who was beside me, my Grandfather, the only one with hands that large. The same hand I held as he took his last breath, with my Mom holding the other hand.

My Grampa, without doubt. You see for nearly 90 years those hands milked by hand, cut logs, worked farm machinery, held the reins of a workhorse and so very much more. I watched those hands gently pick an apple from the tree and plant tiny seeds in his wonderfully productive garden. "We are here for you Son, and your Mother" I lifted my head and for a brief moment I saw all an enormous mass of men and women, standing in masses, blocking out every flower and tree. Then they were gone, as was my Grampa.

I stood, my tears dried and with a lighter step, walked back to the room. I no longer thought that we would lose my Mom. She was going to be fine.

Brian

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, msforgetmenott, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

MysticFrance (5 stories) (91 posts)
 
7 months ago (2019-01-04)
Hi Jan,

It was so sweet and supportive of Brian to write using your account. It feels like, someone will always be updating us when you're not feeling well. But of course, I would love to hear more from you.

Regards.
msforgetmenott (17 stories) (315 posts)
+2
9 months ago (2018-10-10)
Hi RexT,

I find I am far more worn out then expected. Many old friends are wanting to visit, and while I do want to see them, I would rather be taking a nap.
The call comes, then the frantic relaxed mode ends with a rush to do a fast dusting and pick up, then check frig for snacks and dip, drinks or coffee, then I am ready to drop.
I guess it is called recovery!?

My Best,
Jan
Rex-T (4 stories) (245 posts)
+2
9 months ago (2018-10-09)
Hello Jan,

I sincerely hope that you are "traveling well" and are surrounded by your "guardian angels" (family, friends, medical team and of course the YGS clan).

I commented back to Brian in early September, offering encouragement and my best wishes for you and to him. Our message remains the same.

Oh yeh, I almost forgot, I am a bundle of energy for a few hours but I've then got to have a rest! 😊

Please stay in touch.

Rex-T and Jubeele
msforgetmenott (17 stories) (315 posts)
+2
9 months ago (2018-10-09)
Good Morning Jubeele and Rex T,

I had no idea Rex T had such a serious health problem. You are fortunate to have health and happiness now.
I met a delightful lady last year, that had a total liver transplant, for many years, suffering from a tick disease, that was ruining her liver. On the forth of July at 11 in the evening she received her call. Be in Boston in three hours or she looses. She was there, and received a total 15 year old liver.

Such a bundle of energy! Hope the same for you T-Rex, and Jubeele, by best to you and thank you for the well wishes.
My Best,
Jan
RCRuskin (8 stories) (548 posts)
+1
10 months ago (2018-10-06)
On the subject of medicine, there are commercials run on TV here for a service called Health-e-connections. This sharing of medical records only works, though, so long as doctors, nurses and other providers actually *read* the medical history.

Hoping everyone is healthy today, or something close to healthy at least.

RC
Jubeele (17 stories) (753 posts)
+2
10 months ago (2018-10-06)
Hi Jan! [does happy dance] So good to hear that you're on the mend. Having gone through our share with Rex-T's liver cancer, followed by the transplant over a year ago, we've found that keeping a positive mindset helps. Such experiences changed our whole outlook on life. Every day is a blessing to count in our favour. Cherish your loved ones and enjoy yourself. You've much loved!

Redwolf - what a horribly painful ordeal. 😟 Hope the surgery does its job and help improve things for you.

Sending you both BIG hugs and get-well wishes. ❤

Our warmest regards,

Jubeele & Rex-T
msforgetmenott (17 stories) (315 posts)
+1
10 months ago (2018-10-02)
Red,

It is a darn shame, How many blotched surgeries are performed. If I could have found the Dr. That removed the screws first. He told me if it was separated he would do a fusion that would be far better. I was put to sleep, wanting him to give a better fusion. When I woke, I learned It was fused, but he removed the three inch screws.
Keep me posted, I wish you the best,

❤ My best
Jan 😊
msforgetmenott (17 stories) (315 posts)
+1
10 months ago (2018-10-02)
Hi BeautInside,

Thank you for the well wishes, every one is so kind. You included!

My best


Jan
BeautInside (3 stories) (323 posts)
+1
10 months ago (2018-10-02)
Hi Jan!

You're back! 😊 So happy to hear from you, you really are a true force of nature!

One step at a time, and you'll get through it. 😉

Brian did a great job by keeping us updated, you can be proud!

Sending you a huge hug with tons of healing! ❤
Also for you Redwolf! 😊
RedWolf (30 stories) (1289 posts)
+2
10 months ago (2018-10-02)
Sleeping-with-steve

Thank you for being such a sweet person.

Jan
My youngest son has been helping me out for the most part. My surgeons told that I can start physical therapy in late October/early November. The reason is they want my scar to heal and of course more importantly they want me to heal.

Red
msforgetmenott (17 stories) (315 posts)
+1
10 months ago (2018-10-01)
Red,
Wow, you are going to be very restricted. If you have started to reach a point where the pain is tolerable that is wonderful. My surgery was more than 9 hours, but it could have been longer. I had three doctors working at the surgical table also.
Who is helping you now at home, what you can do must be very limited. I had therapy for my back, and was going to therapy less than two weeks later. I went for nearly 9 months, but there was failure and the three inch screws were displaced.

Wishing you my best,
Jan
msforgetmenott (17 stories) (315 posts)
+2
10 months ago (2018-10-01)
Hello, LuciaJacinta,
Computers can be very frustrating. Thank you so much for your well wishes and for your prayers. The reason I can sit and send a thankyou note to you, is because many good people sent good thoughts, and prayers.
Thank you again,
Jan
Sleeping-with-steve (7 stories) (361 posts)
 
10 months ago (2018-10-01)
Hello Redwolf and Msforgetmenot,

You have both been through so much. I can't imagine the pain you have/are going through.

Please know despite not knowing both of you, my heart and thoughts are with you.

Please get well soon.

😘 ❤ 😘
RedWolf (30 stories) (1289 posts)
+2
10 months ago (2018-10-01)
Jan and lady-glow

Thank you for you well wishes. I had a failed fusion that I put off having surgery for years. This time I am fused from T-8 all the way down to my pelvic bone. It took about 9 hours for 2 surgeons to basically reconstruct my back.

Red
LuciaJacinta (6 stories) (217 posts)
+1
10 months ago (2018-09-30)
Hi Jan,
I've been reading all your stories and recent developments over the last few weeks. I haven't been able to comment though until now due to weird internet connections I have... (I can read but I can't ever comment, it won't load the page)...anyway I've been praying for you all along. Get well soon.
lady-glow (11 stories) (2376 posts)
 
10 months ago (2018-09-30)
RedWolf - have a speedy recovery. I had been wondering why you haven't been active... Now I know.

Jan - Ouch! So terrible when a doctor causes more damage to a person.

I'm glad both of you are getting better. Hugs and a bouquet of beautiful flowers to each one of you. ❤
msforgetmenott (17 stories) (315 posts)
+2
10 months ago (2018-09-30)
Hi Redwolf,
That is why I haven't seen you on here much. I have had three back surgeries, I know how hard that can be. The first one I had was quick, she broke my back, fractured two vertebrate L4and L5. When knocking out a disk. I guess I chose the wrong dr. The following were done by another Dr. And he fused the damage. The third was to remove the screws that were involving the nerves, as the screws were almost three inches long.

What did you have done Redwolf? Don't do too much. I am in constant pain as I resumed to normal and over did.

Good to hear from you!
Jan 😊 ❤
RedWolf (30 stories) (1289 posts)
+1
10 months ago (2018-09-29)
Jan

I am recovering from back surgery. I had the surgery on 7/13 (it was a Friday. LOL). I am doing well though. I'm not in physical therapy yet but my son goes on mile or more walks when the weather permits.

Regards
Red
Twilight1011 (7 stories) (254 posts)
+2
10 months ago (2018-09-29)
Jan, your son seemed to grow up to be a great man though 😊 I believe we all go through a bad stage of acting out when we were teens. I know as for me, I definitely gave my mom hell 😳 it wasn't until I had children of my own, that I realized that my mom was just doing her best, and I felt horrible on how I never made it easy for her then. But as we grow, I'd like to think that most of us at least learn from our mistakes. I just know karma will come back on me with my daughter, as I see she has a lot of my attitude in her lol. I'm sorry to hear that about your son, but I'm glad that other than his permanent scarring, that he's at least ok. I know that had to be scary to be told that he was in an accident. It seems that it was his wake up call to do better with his second chance, that some aren't able to get. From what I can see on here, he seems like a very respectable young man now. Despite his scars though, I've always believed that true beauty is from inside. We all eventually get old, and wrinkled one day, so the real important matter is how you are on the inside, that will show just how you truly are. You can be the most beautiful/sexiest person alive, but if you have an ugly attitude about yourself, no matter how good you look won't even matter then, because you make yourself ugly.
msforgetmenott (17 stories) (315 posts)
+1
10 months ago (2018-09-29)
Rdwolf,

How nice to hear from you, it has been a long time. Where have you been. How are you?
😊 ❤

Jan
msforgetmenott (17 stories) (315 posts)
+2
10 months ago (2018-09-29)
RCR,

We have a very small kitchen and my cupboards are filled with needed items, as I cook. It is one of my hobbies, when in the mood.
We redid our kitchen from top to bottom, with beautiful granite shelves.
There are places for a dishwasher, but did not do it. 😊

Jan
msforgetmenott (17 stories) (315 posts)
+1
10 months ago (2018-09-29)
Hi Tace,
He was fortunate to see all those family people, but I wish he had more detail. When a flash is like that and happening so fast, your mind has no time for detail.
Thanks for writing. 😉
Jan
msforgetmenott (17 stories) (315 posts)
+3
10 months ago (2018-09-29)
Twilight,
I would hate to tell you how many problems our Son gave us in the teen years, yet no drugs or to much drinking. At that time he was a good looking man. Unfortunately he had a very bad car accident and managed to scar his face badly. That is when he grew up.
He writes better than I thought! He must have spell check on his phone.
Take care,
Jan 😊
RedWolf (30 stories) (1289 posts)
+2
10 months ago (2018-09-29)
Jan

So glad to hear that you are on the mend. Let the men in your life pamper you for as long as you can.
Sending prayers your way. If I could I would give you a big HUG.

Red
RCRuskin (8 stories) (548 posts)
+2
10 months ago (2018-09-28)
I do wash dishes actually. I find it somewhat therapeutic. 😁
tace (30 posts)
+2
10 months ago (2018-09-28)
Jan, I am so happy to hear of your recovery from surgery. Your son gave a wonderful account of seeing your family in the afterlife there for you. Gave me encouragement of things to come. ❤
Twilight1011 (7 stories) (254 posts)
+3
10 months ago (2018-09-28)
Jan, I think your son was amazing to keep us updated on how you were doing, and I loved that he chose to share his experience with us here as well ❤ as I told him after writing it, that it must have been a very comforting experience to have, that happened in his time of needing that comfort.
msforgetmenott (17 stories) (315 posts)
+5
10 months ago (2018-09-27)
Hi Twilight1011,

I am sorry you were on edge, but I did think my son Brian did pretty good, and to think he had a wonderful event. I wish I had seen all those people who link to our past, good for him though as he is not very much in touch with the other side.

Thank you,
Jan
msforgetmenott (17 stories) (315 posts)
+2
10 months ago (2018-09-27)
Hi Babygoatpuller,

Thank you for your well wishes, hey where did you go anyway?

Jan
msforgetmenott (17 stories) (315 posts)
+2
10 months ago (2018-09-27)
RCR,
Thank you for your continued kind wishes 😊 I wish your Mom to heal quick. Tell her how you need to cook for me, if and only if you do dishes. We do not have a dishwasher!
My guy is doing pretty good, he runs to local eateries, for pick up.
Often! ❤
My best,
Jan

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